For Whom This Soul Fits
by SueAngel
Summary: Angel has an almighty decision to make
1. Default Chapter

FOR WHOM THIS SOUL FITS ****

TITLE : For Whom This Soul Fits

AUTHOR: SueAngelDPB

DISCLAIMER : The almighty Joss owns ALL. If not don't you think I'd have DPB to myself

RATING:

PAIRING: That would give away the ending

TIMELINE: Set after the end of Season 2

NOTES: In Grimmers (my) universe, Buffy is still alive and Willow still likes men 

It would make the main content of the story a little awkward otherwise

SYNOPSIS: Angel has an almighty decision to make

FEEDBACK: Of course, but as this is my first attempt, please be gentle

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For Whom This Soul Fits

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Chapter One

"Aha !! Got it", Wesley exclaimed triumphantly, looking down at the endless scribbles on the writing pad in front of him, "Using all my powers of deduction and logical reasoning I believe I know exactly who the perpetrator of this heinous crime is"

He adjusted his glasses, shifted in his seat and looked at the expectant faces of the Angel Investigations crew sat all around him. Beside him Cordelia, looking as elegant as ever, patiently drummed her fingernails against the table, while Fred and Gunn leant forward on their elbows waiting for his answer. It was a very tense moment.

"Well come on English", Gunn said finally, "Don't just leave us in suspense here. Tell us your great theory and get it over with"

"Yeah Wes", Cordelia agreed, placing her hand lightly on his arm, "We really need to know who the killer is and I'm sooo counting on you to get this right"

Wesley gave a nervous gulp. [Gee thanks Cordy] he thought [What's a little added pressure between friends]

He forced himself to relax, after all there was nothing about his current predicament that he could not handle. Right?. He had been in dozens of situations just as intense as this before. More even. Why wasn't it only a couple of weeks ago that he, Angel and Gunn had thrown themselves into a wormhole thus venturing the very realms of the unknown to rescue Cordelia and Fred from the hands of some power mad priests. And over the past year hadn't he faced and defeated some of the very faces of true evil that this dimension could muster. Of course he had. This was child's play in comparison.

However with the added pressure now being placed upon his shoulders he was starting to second guess himself. The Thesulac demon had once called him paranoid and now he wasn't all that inclined to disagree with it. He had to be sure that the decision he made was the right one. He looked up at Cordelia and Gunn again for some semblance of support. Instead their faces were like stone. He then glanced at Fred who simply gave him an impish smile that made her nose wrinkle and her eyes shine.

Wesley liked this girl. She hadn't been part of their close knit group for long but already he was beginning to become extremely fond of her. He realised with affection that the people surrounding him at the table were the people that mattered most to him in the world. They were not only his allies in battle but also his closest friends in play. In short they were his one true family. He would lay his life down for anyone of them in a heartbeat. 

"Wesley are you gonna tell us or not", Fred's nervous giggle interrupted his reverie and brought his focus back to the matter at hand, "I mean I'm getting so excited I can't stand it", 

Wesley adjusted his glasses for a second time, "After reviewing the facts placed before me and after intense investigation……" he began

"God damnit Wesley", Cordelia interrupted impatiently, "Enough of the British waffle. Just tell us who the killer is already!" 

Wesley could feel a thin bead of sweat forming on his brow and his palms suddenly felt very sticky. His throat had become dry and he was desperately aware of three sets of eyes boring into his very being. He took one final intake of breath and finally said, "It is my belief that it was……"

Every single member of the Angel Investigations team held their breath in anticipation of the forthcoming answer. Fred had even decided to cross her fingers for extra good fortune. The room was so silent that the proverbial pin could have dropped and everyone would have been alerted to its presence. Wesley opened his mouth and finally spilled the info they had all been waiting for.

"Colonel Mustard. In the dining room. With the candlestick!"

The reaction to his words was a mixed one. Cordelia gave an exasperated sigh, Gunn let out a victorious howl of laughter and Fred gave her wrinkle nosed smile again and a sympathetic shrug of her shoulders.

"Oh Wesley!" Cordelia screeched pushing back so hard on her chair that it fell over, "How could Colonel Mustard possibly be the killer when he was right here in my hand cosying up to prudy Mrs Peacock. You are such a dumb ass. Everyone here could tell you it was Professor Plum. Even Fred!"

As if to prove her point ,Cordelia snatched up the envelope that was sitting in the middle of the game board and removed the cards to reveal a picture of a purple bodied, stuffy faced man.

"See", she said taking the card and hitting Wesley over the head with it, "Professor Plum" 

Wesley raised his hands to his head in a vain attempt to try and defend himself

"You know Cordelia" , he stuttered in between swipes, "it is just a game you know. It's not as if any lives have actually been lost here"

Those words did not have the calming effect that Wesley was hoping for instead they only seemed to anger Cordelia even more. The urghhhh sound that escaped her lips were testimony to that fact.

"I mean it was only our pride at stake here Wesley", she wittered on, "Our professional pride. Look at laughing boy over there. He is going to brag about this for…God… months"

Wesley glanced over his shoulder to where Gunn was still laughing. He was no longer seated but instead dancing around the room in a very similar fashion to that of Lorne's brother Numfar back on Pylea.

"See" she said pointing at Gunn before storming off into the main lobby to pour herself another glass of wine. What had meant to be a quiet night of friends relaxing and spending time together instead of being demon chow was turning into anything but a quiet evening.

"Wait a minute Cordelia", he said following her, "Gunn hasn't been victorious all night. We did beat him at Trivial Pursuit and at Pictionary remember. Surely we have some bragging rights too"

Obviously not. There was that urghhhh sound again. Cordelia threw her hands up in the air tossing her newly poured wine over her shoulder, "Were you born retarded or did you just grow up that way. We don't get bragging rights. We have nothing. Nothing but humiliation for the next month"

"Well if you want my opinion I think that you are blowing this out of all proportion", Wesley said picking up a pretzel and retiring to the sofa in the lobby, "If Gunn can brag about his wins, why can't we brag about ours"

Cordelia gave Wesley an incredulous look and slowly sauntered over to where he was sitting. She placed her hands on his shoulders and leant forward to whisper in his ear.

"I'll tell you why little Englishman. In fact I'll give you three reasons why"

She stood up straight again and started counting down her reasons on her meticulously manicured fingernails, "Number one", she started, "Nobody but nobody brags about Trivial Pursuit. It just isn't cool. I mean who wants to brag about knowing boring stuff like who Henry the VIII's third wife was."

"Being proud and knowledgeable about ones heritage is neither uncool nor boring", Wesley replied defensively.

Cordelia crossed her arms in front of her and gave him an unconvinced stare 

"Number Two", she continued, "Let's not forget that I was on Gunn's team when we played Pictionary and its quite clear to me that you cheated"

Wesley's mouth almost dropped to the floor. "I beg your pardon, I cheated how exactly?"

"You had Angel on your team"

"Your point being?"

"Well he's only like a professional artist and stuff. He draws all the time and he's really good at it. That's an unfair advantage Wesley and that is what I - call - cheating" 

The last three words were emphasised by a poke of her finger on Wesley's chest. 

"You're just being antsy because I - bagsied - him - first", he replied poking her upper arm in return 

He knew he had won that particular argument as Cordelia's face began turning into an interesting shade of crimson.

The colour of Cordelia's complexion had not gone completely unnoticed by either Fred or Gunn. Once the accusations had started to fly they both quite sensibly took a step back to leave Wes and Cordy to it retreating to the relative safety of the inner office. From there they watched the enfolding argument between their two friends with a certain amount of interest but Fred was also more than a little concerned. It didn't seem right that these two were verbally abusing each other over something as simple as a board game.

"Do they always yell at each other like this?" Fred whispered to Gunn.

The amusement he was getting from this little episode was more than apparent. It was written all over his face.

"Oh yeah. It's all part of the Cordy and Wes show. Man they should sell it to cable, they'd make a whole ton of money"

"But aren't they upsetting one another"

"Nah don't worry about it Fred, they get like this sometimes. I think its sexual tension between them personally. If they got it on they'd get along a whole lot better or would it be a whole lot worse. I dunno. Anyway they're cool. Now just watch it. They haven't even got to the name calling yet"

Fred turned her attention back to where Cordelia and Wesley were still standing off against each other.

"You said there were three reasons Cordelia", Wesley said calmly, "Are you ever going to get over yourself long enough to tell me what the third one is"

Cordelia placed her hands on her hips and smiled sweetly at Wesley. Anybody who knew anything about Cordelia Chase knew that this was her battle stance. The biggest bitch in Sunnydale's history was about to go in for the kill. 

Cordelia took two steps forward until she right in Wesley's face. She leant forward and took hold of Wesley's tie in her right hand twisting it around her fingers. With a gentle tug she pulled him even closer to her so that she could look directly into his eyes. 

"The third and perhaps the most poignant reason why Gunn will rag on us for the next few months" she began. Her voice was deceptively mellow yet rich with superiority and contempt, "Is that you Wesley" she continued, still calm, "WORK FOR A GODDAMN DETECTIVE AGENCY!" 

The demeanour had changed and the volume had most definitely been turned up a few decibels. The grip on the tie around his throat was getting tighter as she continued to yell, 

"SOLVING CRIMES AND IDENTIFYING SUSPECTS IS WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO FOR A LIVING!! JEEZ WES YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY SIGNS OF INCRIMINATION EVERYDAY OF YOUR WORKING LIFE YET YOU CANNOT SEE ONE THAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OFYOUR VERY NOSE. SOME BLOODY SHERLOCK HOLMES YOU ARE!!"

"Well it's comforting to see that you kids have been playing nice while I've been out" 

Cordelia and Wesley swung their heads round to where Angel was striding across the lobby in his customary leather duster carrying three bags of takeaway food from various fast food outlets.

"You know I leave you two out of my sight for just one second and look what happens" 

He placed the food on the table in front of him and the group pounced like wild animals. Even Cordelia and Wesley managed to untangle themselves from their previous position to attack the food placed in front of them like rabid dogs.

Fred immediately aimed for the Taco Bell bag and pulled out a large tray of nachos and some salsa. She had been back on this earth for a couple of weeks and must have eaten Mexican take out almost every day. It tasted far better than she remembered and definitely better than the bark enchilladas she had created back on Pylea.

Charles Gunn was a simple man with simple tastes and he was more than satisfied with his Big Mac Double Cheeseburger with extra cheese, large fries and soft drink of his choice.

Cordelia and Wesley had opted for Chinese. In fact it was the only thing that they had managed to agree on all evening. However now they were bickering about who ordered noodles and who ordered rice.

Angel let out a very rare smile and sat back as he watched his crew devour their midnight munchies. This is what he had missed the last few months. Friendship. Companionship. A sense of belonging. Up until a couple of weeks ago he didn't think that this was something that he would ever feel again.

When he had fired his gang, he had convinced himself that it had been for their own good. He was very close to hitting the self destruct button and he didn't want the people that he cared most about in the immediate vicinity when he exploded. That's what he had told himself when he let them go. That's what he had told himself when he continued with his vindictive and ruthless pursuit of Wolfram and Hart. And that's what he told himself when he willingly gave himself to Darla in an attempt to achieve a feeling of belonging he so desperately craved.

It was only now whilst watching the gang embroil themselves in idle banter, that he realised that it was these people who could have saved him from reaching his rock bottom. 

They knew who he was and they had known the things he had done and yet they trusted him. They believed in him. He should have let them inside of his soul instead of shutting them out of his life and his head. If he had let them, they would have saved him. 

God - what a wonderful gift the benefit of hindsight is

Angel was more than aware that he was a lucky man. It isn't often in your 'undead' life that you get a second chance let alone a third (if you count the whole returning from Hell thing). Yet these amazing human beings had offered him that chance albeit rather reluctantly at first.

The whole Pylea experience had once again enforced their bond and now he was going to make damn sure that nothing happened that would break it again.

It was time for them to become a family again.

Snapping himself out of his sentimental trance, Angel walked over to where the rest of the group were sitting and perched himself on the arm of a chair.

"Did you know that I could hear you two yelling at each other from a couple of blocks away" Angel said looking at Cordelia and then Wesley in turn. 

"Well no wonder you could hear us", Cordelia spoke though mouthfuls of noodles, "you have like supervamp hearing. You would have been able to hear us from the next state"

"Cordelia, the way you two were going at it a dead man could have heard you from the next state"

"Well technically you are a dead man so that's OK", Cordelia replied pulling her tongue out at him before devouring more noodles.

Angel suppressed a smile. Of all the people that he had missed, it was Cordelia he had missed most of all. He was glad that they were back on good terms and also glad that he had a platinum Visa. It was expensive getting back on Cordy's good side.

"What were two you arguing about this time anyway?" he asked her pinching a piece of chicken from her takeaway carton.

"Doesn't matter now", Wesley intervened. He desperately did not want the whole argument to start up again. Nor did he want Cordelia or Gunn reminded of it. He had suffered more than his fill of embarrassment for the day and he was certain that no more jibes were necessary.

Gunn wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily however, "Lets just say that there's gonna be a lot of fun for Gunn", he said slapping Wesley on the back. Wesley almost choked on the food in his mouth and returned a dry smile to Gunn.

Cordelia was about to come back with a Chase special when she suddenly felt that all too familiar throb in her temples

"Er guys…incoming" she managed to get out before throwing her head back, noodles flying everywhere.

Angel immediately rushed to her side and managed to catch her before she hit the floor. Slowly, he sank to his knees and cradled her head in his lap holding her gently while she convulsed. It broke his undead heart to see her like this and more than ever he wished that he could take the visions from her to save her from all of this pain and emotional distress.

"Is she alright?", Fred asked. Angel had told her about Cordelia's visions but she had never actually witnessed Cordelia having one. Now it was happening before her very eyes it was scary and she didn't like it.

"Yeah she's OK Fred", Angel replied, "She's having a vision" 

"Is there anything I can do?"

He looked down at his lap. Cordelia's body was still twitching and twisting. He gently smoothed her hair away from her face only to see her eyes shut and contorted with pain. 

"You could help by getting some painkillers from her desk drawer and a glass of water", he said quietly, "She'll need them in a minute or two"

Fred got to her feet and made her way to the back office as instructed. She wanted to be helpful in any way that she could.

Wesley and Gunn were standing behind Angel watching their friend suffer courtesy of 'her gift'. They had been through this scenario dozens of times before and they knew that there was nothing that they could do for Cordelia until she snapped out of it. It didn't make it any easier to watch though.

Whatever arguments had been taking place earlier were now long since forgotten as their immediate concern centred on their best friend's well being.

"Is it me", Gunn whispered to Wesley, "or are these visions getting longer every time she has them"

Wesley nodded his head. "It certainly seems that way", he agreed, "and the longer they last, the longer it takes her to recover"

In Angel's arms, Cordelia began to stir. She opened her eyes to see the face of an Angel looking down upon her. His eyes were filled with such kindness, she thought. Slowly she tried to sit up and fought the urge to vomit. Her eyes were hot with lingering white flashes behind her eyelids. She rubbed her temples trying to get the blood to circulate and purge the pain from her skull. She could feel Angel's hands on her shoulders and she gently leaned back to rest against his chest.

"Any chance of a painkiller this millennium?", she asked tiredly

"On its way. Fred's gone to get them", Angel replied rubbing small circles on her back

Cordelia nodded allowing herself to be comforted by Angel's healing touches. Just as if her timing couldn't be better Fred returned. She handed the glass of water to Cordelia who accepted it gratefully.

"I brought the whole bottle of pills" ,Fred said kneeling down to be on the same level as Cordelia, "I wasn't sure how many you'd need"

"Two will be just fine Fred, thank you" she smiled at the well meaning girl. She quickly slipped both pills into her mouth and took a several large sips from the water. Wesley helped her to stand and she moved to the relative comfort of the large sofa in the foyer.

"I guess you're gonna want know the details on the latest big scary"

She closed her eyes recapturing the images that had painfully been shown to her moments earlier

"OK it's a demon in fact I'm sure there's more than one of them. They're at what looks like an abandoned movie theatre north of the city. Oh God they're gonna take some kids"

Quickly her eyes opened and she switched her focus to Angel, "Oh Angel they're gonna take some kids"

Angel placed his hands over Cordelia's, "Not if we find them first", he assured her, "Now can you describe the demon you saw"

Cordelia nodded and waited for Wesley to fetch his notepad and pen before continuing

"It was big. Mottled skin, kind of pale green in colour. Its ears are kind of pointed you know like Spock kind of pointed. Its eyes are a deep red and it has thin, spike like needles coming out of the upper part of its body, across the shoulders and part way down the arms and urgh can I mention that it smells really bad like…. like…. sulphur or something"

Wesley stood up from his place at Cordy's side and moved to his substantial supply of books at the far end of the office. He knew exactly which volume he needed and managed to retrieve it without problem. He flicked through the pages until he found what he was looking for

He returned to the group to share his findings, "I think the demon you're describing Cordelia is a Braxior demon", he informed them

Angel took the book from Wesley and studied his soon to be enemy

"A Braxior. What can you tell me about them"

"Well from what I can gather put simply they are cold blooded killers"

"Any idea why they would be targeting children?".

Wesley sighed, "Braxior demons sustain their existence primarily by killing and feeding at random. They hunt in packs of 3 just as Cordy surmised. However, every 50 years, they need to regenerate or they will grow weak and eventually die a slow agonising death as their flesh deteriorates. The book says that 'Only from the essence of youth can one be reborn' The Braxiors steal the children and eat their hearts thus absorbing their purity and innocence"

Angel shook his head. He had witnessed many atrocities in his time, been the cause of a lot of them, but he was never more affected than when children were involved.

"Well we're not gonna let that happen. How do we kill them?" he said defiantly.

"Standard slice and dice. Beating them will be tough though. They hunt for sport mostly so they have highly attuned battle strategies. They defeat their opponents using sharp talons to slash and disembowel. The thin spikes Cordy spoke of are actually referred to as spindles. The spindles contain a poison. The poison can be extremely painful even deadly dependent on the amount absorbed into muscle tissue and the bloodstream. The Braxior shoots these spindles from their bodies usually to paralyse its prey before finishing it off with the talons"

"Nice to know what were dealing with", Gunn chipped in, "But we gotta find 'em first. Now if my memory serves me correctly the old MacMillan cinema is in the North part of the city. It's also close to St Johnson's school so it's a pretty safe bet that this could be the place we're looking for. We should try there first "

Angel walked to his weapons cabinet and removed a large crossbow and axe. He threw the crossbow to Wesley and the axe to Gunn. He then removed a broadsword and several other items of weaponry placing them all within easy access on his body.

"Fred get on the computer and run a check on other possible movie theatres in that area. Cordy get some rest and that's an order, Wes, Gunn let's go I guess we have a re-birthday party we need to break up".

**__**

Chapter Two

Wesley felt like his head had swollen to three times its normal size, and the pounding he felt behind his eyes only seemed to confirm his theory. He had woken up face down among an array of battered cardboard boxes and in all likelihood he had been there ever since he had hit the wall when one of the Braxior demons had thrown him across the room.

Slowly he stumbled to his feet, steadying himself on a nearby upturned crate before beginning to search his surrounding area. The room was pitched in darkness except for a small shaft of light coming from an open doorway in the far corner. Trying, without much success, to focus his double vision, Wesley headed in the direction of the light taking small tentative steps his arms outstretched in front of him to check for any obstructions.

As he drew closer he thought he could hear a voice. It was faint so he couldn't be sure. Wesley continued towards the door when he heard it again. It was definitely a voice and if not mistaken it sounded like Gunn. 

As he reached the open entrance, Wesley cautiously placed his head around the frame. Hell he didn't even know whether or not the battle was over or if he was walking unarmed into a waiting trap. If the Braxiors were still alive, he certainly did not want to alert them unnecessarily to his presence. 

His first scan of the room however gave him the answers that he needed. All of the demons were dead, their bodies scattered in various states of dismemberment around what looked like a very large and very old storeroom. 

Satisfied that their enemies were no longer an issue, Wesley's concern then moved to the wellbeing of his friends, "Gunn!", he shouted, remembering the voice he thought he had heard earlier, "Are you in here ?"

At first there didn't seem to be any response so he shouted again. This time he heard Gunn reply, "Yeah Wes, we're over here"

Wesley followed the direction of the voice to find Gunn kneeling on the floor his back turned towards him. He appeared to be okay apart from a nasty looking cut to his left arm.

As he moved closer, Wesley realised that Gunn was leaning over the fallen body of his vampire friend. Angel was lying on his back, his eyes open but fixed in the direction of the ceiling. His body was trembling and his head was shaking uncontrollably from side to side.

Wesley immediately fell to his knees at the side of Angel placing a gentle hand on his forehead. Angel reacted with a painful flinch. His skin was still cool to the touch and Wesley became aware of an unusual odour. 

"What happened?", Wesley said quietly, his hand not leaving Angel's face. Gunn lowered his head as if in shame.

"One of the Braxior demons blindsided me and tried to take me out of the game", Gunn explained his voice trembling and edged with guilt, "Angel saw it, distracted it and simply got in the way when it made its move. He saved my ass but he took these in the process"

Gunn carefully moved the bottom of Angel's unbuttoned shirt aside to reveal several sharp thin needles protruding from Angel's abdomen. Each wound was seeping with a thick white fluid and it was this liquid that was giving off the awful bad eggs like stench.

"Braxior spindles", Wesley whispered, his worse fears confirmed, "Has he said anything at all?". 

He needed to ascertain how much of the poison from the spindles had been absorbed into Angel's body.

Gunn shook his head, "No, he's been in this semi-catatonic state since he fell. I've tried talking to him but he doesn't seem to be responding to anything I say"

Wesley knew that was a bad sign. He turned to face Angel, "Angel….Angel….can you hear me……Angel it's Wesley", he called lightly slapping the vampire's face, "Angel……can hear me Angel……Angel"

Nothing. Angel's eyes were almost black in colour, his pupils fixed with hardly any movement. His body still trembled.

"We need to get him out of here and get those spindles out of his body", Wesley said to Gunn, his concern for his former employer ever increasing, "The longer those needles remain embedded in his flesh, the more painful the torment for him is going to be. This catatonic state is merely the first stage"

"Then let's get gone"

Carefully, they each took hold of one of Angel's arms and gently pulled him to his feet. Angel gave a loud painful moan of protest at being moved. Supporting him with his arms over their shoulders, Wesley and Gunn managed to get Angel back to the car and laid him across the back seat. Wesley climbed in with him and placed Angel's head to rest across his knees. He knew that if Angel began to convulse on the way back to the hotel, he would need someone to hold him down. Wesley cast his eyes over his injured friend. Angel's eyes were still directed skyward and it disturbed Wesley to notice that a small blood tear had started to form in one corner.

"Gunn, get us back to the hotel and quickly", he said panic stricken, "I think Angel is about to hit stage two"

Back at the Hyperion, Cordelia could not hide the fact that she was worried. She knew that it was for her own well being that she had been told to stay home but she hated being left behind. Especially if it was one of her visions that had been the cause for them to leave.

Cordelia had been the lucky owner of her mind shattering, debilitating visions for over a year now, and although she would never admit to getting used to them, she had certainly learned how to cope with them. Not only could she detect when one was about to hit her but she had also learned how to make sense out of the random illogical images that were placed so painfully into her head. It had taken a while to master, but she now seemed to instinctively know how to extract the relevant and essential pieces of information. 

Recently however her visions were starting to take their toll on her, each one seemingly more painful than the last and draining her of all her energy. But there was something about the vision she had tonight that really bothered her. She could not shake the uneasy feeling she had that something was going to go wrong.

She glanced at the clock in the office. It had been four hours since the guys had left and she hadn't heard a word from them. She had tried calling each one of their cell phones, more than once, but each time she received no reply.

Fred had fallen asleep a couple of hours ago and was still sat at one of the desks, her head cradled on her arms. Cordelia gave a small smile. Fred looked so young and it was obvious that she was still adjusting to being back in this world. Cordelia found a blanket that she kept in one of the cupboards and draped it over the young girl's shoulders. She wanted to use that blanket not only to protect Fred from the cold but to shield her from all the horrors that she had yet to face. She wanted to save Fred from ever having to find out the cruel nature of their profession thus preserving her innocence. But hey who was she trying to kid. Fred had been sucked out of the only world she had ever known and dumped into an alternative dimension. She had been holding her own on a human slave planet for five years so she was already more than aware of what went bump in the night and she could handle it just fine.

Cordelia looked nervously at the clock again and began to pace. She was about to try ringing Angel again when she heard the front doors of the Hyperion swing open. 'Thank God', she thought to herself.

"Its about time", she shouted making her way around the reception area to the main lobby, "Where the hell have you guys been? Didn't you think that I'd be worried out of my…….."

Her tirade ended abruptly when she was faced with the sight of Wesley and Gunn holding up a battered and severely wounded Angel. His head was hung low and he was mumbling incoherently.

"Wh…what happened," she asked rushing to their aide, helping Wesley to support Angel

"No time for explanations right now Cordelia," he said, "We need to try and get him upstairs" 

Wesley and Gunn started moving Angel towards the main stairwell when suddenly Angel began to convulse. The violent action pulled Angel from their grip and he fell to the floor his body thrashing. His face was stained with blood streaks and the white fluid that had been seeping from his wounds earlier was now leaking from his mouth. His eyes, previously devoid of any reaction, reflected only too clearly the pain he was feeling.

Cordelia dropped to her knees and placed her hands on either side of Angel's head. Slowly she tried to turn him to face her. Angel reacted to her touch and tried to pull himself free but Cordelia's grip remained gentle but firm. 

"Angel…..Angel", she whispered so only he could hear, "I need you to try and focus. I want you to look at me. Look at me Angel"

Angel's body was still in spasm and Cordelia could see he was struggling to gain control. She tried to keep him steady but Angel was shaking worse than ever. With a renewed determination, she tried again

"Angel I know you can hear me and I know you can stop this. I want you to look in my eyes Angel, I need you to focus on my eyes Angel………. Angel……...Angel"

Angel could not think of anything except pain. He felt like his body did not belong to him and would not respond to his simple commands. Every movement resulted in a searing pain that shot through every nerve and every muscle. He wanted to scream and cry out but he couldn't make a sound. He didn't know who he was, he didn't know where he was. All he knew was that he was in pain. Lots and lots of pain.

Cordelia continued to encourage Angel to snap out of his stupor but he did not seem to register that she was even there.

"He's been like this on the ride over here", Gunn said leaning towards her, "I don't think he recognises us or even knows we're here"

"We need to try and do something to get him out of this", she replied still stroking his face and hair, "Maybe if we gave him some blood, it may help him regain some of his strength"

"On it", Gunn quickly ran to the fridge where he hoped Angel had not run out of his supply. Opening the door, he saw three clear containers and two bags. Figuring the container would be easier for Angel to drink from, he returned to the group with a now awakened Fred in tow

"Here", he said passing the container to Cordelia.

Cordelia adjusted Angel's head on her lap and placed the carton to Angel's lips. Angel resisted at first, small rivulets of blood dripping past his mouth and onto his chin. Undeterred Cordelia tried again but this time she gently massaged his windpipe to encourage him to swallow. Thankfully he did. The small shallow sips he had started by taking changed to all consuming gulps and it was not too long before the carton was empty.

Angel's response to the intake of his life fluid was immediate. His body stopped shaking and instead became rigid. His eyes closed and for a minute there was no movement at all.

Cordelia looked to his face. She wasn't sure whether she liked this turn of events, not convinced that he was any better off than he was five minutes ago. His face did not have the same lines of agony from before but that did not give her the comfort she wanted. His skin was paler than usual and the dried trails of blood from his eyes gave him the look of a devil. She pulled at the sleeve of her $250 dollar blouse and began to wipe the blood smears from Angel's cheek. Angel's hand quickly grabbed hers to stop her.

Still holding Cordelia's hand to his face, Angel slowly opened his eyes and looked up into her welcoming eyes. 

"Cor……Cordelia", Angel finally managed to rasp out, his voice very hoarse, "I thought I told you to rest"

Cordelia gave a small, disbelieving yet relieved laugh back at him and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

Wesley and Gunn who had been standing back allowing Cordelia to take command, were glad to see that for the first time since finding him over an hour ago, Angel looked like well ……Angel. His torment was for the time being subdued and Angel seemed to be in control of his senses. They needed to make the most of the situation before Angel's condition deteriorated.

"Angel", Wesley said kneeling at the side of his former employer, "We need to get you upstairs. Can you move at all?"

Angel nodded, "I think so but I'm gonna need your help"

Once again, Wesley and Gunn helped Angel to stand and supported his weight as they headed for the stairway. Angel winced with each step that he took until finally they reached Angel's unliving quarters.

Cordelia and Fred followed closely behind the guys. Cordelia had collected the first aid kit from the bottom drawer of her desk. 

She was used to playing nursemaid. She added that particular responsibility to her job description. It was almost every night that she had to fix at least one of the guys up but this current injury of Angel's was perhaps one of the worse she had seen. Cordelia was saddened at the thought of just how much pain Angel had had to endure. In all the time that she had worked for him she had seen him in various worse for wear conditions. He had been tortured by Spike. He had been forced to compete in an illegal fight club as well as run the trigger happy gauntlet set by Gunn and his gang. He had undergone a three part trial for no reward not to mention the numerous beatings and shootings he suffered as simply part of the territory. And all of that was just his physical pain. Emotionally he had suffered just as much if not more so. There was Buffy and the day that never was, Doyle's death, his prophesised Shanshu, Wolfram and Hart, Darla, his curse, not to mention the living with the sins of Angelus. The list was endless. Putting everything he goes through in perspective and his daily struggle to contain his demon, maybe it wasn't so surprising that he lost his way for a few months.

Cordelia vowed to herself at that moment that she would apologise to Angel for not being more supportive during his Darla crisis. Instead of judging and condemning him, maybe she should have been a true friend and helped him. Instead she had turned her back. They all did. She only hoped that he would forgive her for not being there. She was determined she was not going to let him down a second time. She would pull him through this latest trouble.

When they reached the room, Wesley and Gunn sat Angel on his bed. He gingerly touched his side and felt the thin spikes that were the cause of his pain.

Cordelia helped him to remove his shirt and forced him to lie down. She took a cool dampened cloth and began to wipe Angel's face. She was determined to restore his handsome features and not allow him to look like a minion from hell.

Angel was grateful for the cool touch against his skin. He could feel the temperature rise from within him and Cordelia's touch was so tender that he swore for a single second she took all of the pain away. But now it was back and he felt so tired that he longed to sleep for a thousand years as he closed his eyes against the world.

"Now are you guys gonna tell me what happened", Cordelia said still bathing Angel's skin, moving across his shoulders, down to his arms and hands.

Wesley pointed to the protruding needles in Angel's lower body. The white fluid was no longer there but was instead replaced by a discoloration of the flesh surrounding each puncture.

"Spindles", he said, "Several of them. We need to remove them as soon as possible or the pain Angel is going through is going to get even worse"

"So do it", Cordelia said turning her attention back to Angel. She placed her hand on his face and caressed his cheek with her thumb, "I don't want Angel to suffer any longer than he already has"

Wesley reached for the first aid kit and removed a pair of tweezers. He knelt by the side of the bed as if in prayer, and took a closer inspection of Angel's wound.

Surprisingly, it appeared as if there was very little if in fact no blood loss despite the puncture of the skin. Tentatively, Wesley reached out and touched the skin surrounding each spindle. Angel flinched and growled in retaliation.

"Sorry", he said resting back on his heels, "but this is worse than I thought. The spindles are embedded deep. I don't know if I am going to be able to get enough grip on them to pull them out"

"But you said we have to remove them or Angel will suffer even more than he is now", Cordelia replied, tears threatening to spill.

"I know, but with they way they are situated. Removing them is going to be unbearable for him"

"Can't we anaesthetise him like they do in hospitals", Fred asked. She had been so quiet since Angel's arrival that everyone had forgotten she was in the room.

"I don't think we can no. If we try to administer any type of drug, we won't know how it will react with the poison in his system. It may only make matters worse"

"But we can't just leave him like this to suffer", Cordelia protested.

"Nobody wants to see Angel suffer Cordelia, least of all I", Wesley snapped in return, "but whatever we decide to do, it WILL cause Angel a tremendous amount of pain"

"Hey, why is everybody talking about me like I'm not here", Angel spoke up weakly lifting his head from his pillow, "If anyone should make the decision then I guess it should be me right?". There was silence. "Right?" he said again a little more insistently.

The heads of his friends nodded slowly in agreement. They knew it was the right choice, after all they did not want Angel to die but nor did they want to see him in agony.

"Then lets stop arguing among ourselves and do it", Angel lowered his head again, the effort to keep it up was too much for him. "You might want to consider getting some chains", he added.

"What. Why?", Fred asked. 

"Well, when the pain hits Angel is afraid that he may change into his demon. He doesn't want to hurt anyone", Wesley explained to her.

"Angel would never hurt any of us", she whispered, "I know it"

Gunn fetched the chains that had not been in use since the Rebecca Lowell incident and began to fix them to the bed. Cordelia placed her hand on Gunn's and stopped him

"The chains won't be necessary Gunn," she said looking at Angel, "I'll help him through this"

Angel's face was flush with weary confusion, "Cordelia", he protested weakly. Every ounce of energy was being drained from him, "It's for your own safety"

"Like Fred said, you would never hurt us", she said touching his face again. Angel saw the trust and obvious affection in Cordy's eyes. He would agree to anything. 

"We really should be getting on with this", Wesley interrupted, "Time is of the essence"

Cordelia remained seated on the bed in her rightful place by Angel's side. She took hold of his hand in both of hers and raised them to her lips. He smiled gratefully as he steeled himself for what was to come.

With Cordy and Gunn preparing to hold Angel down and Fred holding the lamp for better vision, Wesley motioned to remove the first spindle. He tried to find one that had more of its root protruding from Angel's body. He placed the tweezers around the edge and gave a strong swift tug. The spindle came loose relatively easily but Angel let out an agonising scream as his body arched and his grip on Cordelia tightened.

Cordelia began to cry. It distressed her to see Angel suffer this much.

Wesley went to remove a second spindle. Again, it came away from his body without too much trouble but Angel thrashed against the bed growling as his demon took control.

The third one was trickier, Wesley had to pull a little harder and each touch invoked a stomach churning reaction from Angel. As he pulled the spindle free, Angel's face contorted to the worse it had ever been. His scream was shattering and as his body sank back into the mattress, he succumbed to unconsciousness.

All the people in the room looked around at each other, all of them obviously distressed at what was taking place.

Fred was trembling, "This is good for him right", she said her voice shaky, "I mean if he's asleep then he won't be able to feel you remove the other pointy things"

Cordelia wiped the tears away from her eyes only to shed a new set

"Yeah but my worry Fred," she whispered laying her head on Angel's chest, "Is now that he's asleep, he may never wake up again"

Angel knew where he was or at least he thought he knew. 

Ireland. Galway. Home.

What he didn't know or understand was how he happened to be here. Was he dead. Well deader than usual. Was this really the end?

Angel circled trying to focus on something familiar. Over 200 years had passed since he had last seen this place yet standing here now it seemed like it was only yesterday. 

Memories of a childhood he had thought long since forgotten haunted his vision now. These were the roads and pathways he had travelled as a young boy. These were the places of people who had known him before he became a killer and many who had known him since.

He turned to face the fields behind him. He was sure that over that hill was The McReedy Farm. He smirked a little as he recalled how he used to steal apples with his little brother from Old Man McReedy's orchard before being chased off. He then remembered that when he was older, apples were replaced by kisses and he would steal them from their youngest daughter Eilish instead. 

To the right of him was an old oak tree in the middle of a fork road. It stood tall and proud like a sign post, its branches pointing out in all directions. Dublin to the left. Galway's port to the world branching out to the right. His sister Kathy had called it the Faraway Tree. They would meet there after church and spend hours sitting in the branches dreaming of exciting destinations and chances for adventure. She had always been so excitable, so trusting as far as Liam was concerned and he always thought of her to be the most precious little lady in his life. He had promised her the world back then. He closed his eyes against her memory and against his betrayal of her. Angel knew that if he killed a hundred demons, thousands even, that would never be enough to atone for what he did to his sweet innocent Kathy.

Tears rested in his eyes as he slowly opened them and continued to gaze upon the place he had tried so hard to run away from when he was a young man. The more he surveyed his surroundings the more confused he became. He couldn't be here – it just wasn't possible. 

"Is this my own personal hell. There must be a reason why you have been brought to this place. Think Angel think", he said to himself, "What could have happened to bring you here"

"Ah well I may be able to help you with that one", a voice declared behind him.

Angel spun round to see the face of someone he believed he would never see again

"Doyle", he whispered

**__**

Chapter Three

Wesley was exhausted. It had taken a lot longer than originally expected to remove all the Braxior spindles from Angel's body. There were also a lot more of the poisoned needles than he originally anticipated, in fact he had counted seventeen in total. Some of them had been embedded so deeply that Wesley had been forced to cut them out of the skin and he was more than thankful that Angel had not been awake for that procedure.

Wesley wiped the last of Angel's blood from his hands and sat on a large leather bound chair by his patient's bedside. He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to expel the overpowering need to sleep.

"What do we do now Wesley", Cordelia's voice disturbed him. Wesley glanced up. Cordelia was still sat on the bed, her gaze never moving from the face of her best friend. She tenderly held his hand in hers as if she was holding onto his life itself. She had not once left Angel's side. 

In fact, Cordelia was the only other conscious person in the room with Wesley. Gunn had managed to persuade Fred to get some sleep before leaving the hotel himself shortly after. Wesley knew that Gunn felt responsible for Angel's condition and he was also pretty certain that Gunn was going to unleash that guilt and frustration on some poor unsuspecting creature of the night.

"We wait Cordelia. All we can do is wait", Wesley finally replied

"Do you think he's gonna come through this?", Cordelia asked. Her question was fearful as if she wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer. Wesley stood from the chair and walked over to stand behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders for support and looked at the now peaceful face of Angel.

"I hope so Cordelia", he whispered, his grip tightening, "I do hope so"

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Angel could not believe what he was seeing. His best friend who had died over a year ago was now standing in front of him as large as life as if he had never been away.

Doyle looked almost exactly the same as the last time Angel had seen him. His clothes were dishevelled, his hair unkempt and although Angel couldn't be certain there seemed to be a faint smell of whiskey hanging in the air.

Angel took a couple of steps towards Doyle and tentatively reached out half expecting his hand to pass right through Doyle's body but instead it connected with his chest as a hard shove.

"Hey", Doyle protested as he stumbled backwards, losing his footing and falling to the floor, "Is that any way to treat an old friend you haven't seen in a while?"

Angel shook his head, "Y…you can't be here", he said running a hand through his hair, "Y…y…you're dead."

"Well technically you're dead too but it doesn't stop you from walking and talking every day", Doyle replied icily, picking himself up and brushing the dust from his clothes

"No this is a trick. I saw you…..your body.…….it….it…..disappeared"

Doyle closed his eyes at the memory of his mortal death. He remembered all too well the painful details of how he had left his human life. The physical pain he endured at the hands of The Scourge however was nothing in comparison to watching the sorrow his friends had to been made to endure as they mourned for him. After his passing, he had found himself unable to sever the ties that bound him to both Angel and Cordelia and for that reason the PTB had assigned Doyle to become AI's unseen partner and guardian. The PTB were very clear on their instruction to Doyle. He was not allowed to interfere with matters that came to pass no matter how dire the situation. His role was that of observer only so as he watched them from his newly elevated spiritual position, Doyle had been more than touched by the depth of their grief. He never realised until that moment what an impact he had had on Cordelia and Angel's lives nor how much he truly cared for them in return. Glancing at Angel now he saw that grief once again in his eyes. He wasn't sure if that sorrow had ever really left. It moved him still.

Angel sank to his knees, his head in his hands. He deliberately turned his back away from Doyle convincing himself that what he couldn't see couldn't be real. "I don't know what to believe anymore", he murmured to himself, "I'm in a place that I haven't seen in over 250 years talking to a man who was burned alive in front of me. I must be going crazy. Again"

Doyle felt for his friend. He knew that Angel had been through an emotional roller coaster these past few months and he certainly didn't want to hurt Angel further. Doyle had come here to deliver a message of hope to Angel not plunge his one time mentor into further despair. Maybe it was a bad idea to bring him back to Galway to have his little chat. Maybe they needed a change of scenery, somewhere familiar, somewhere a little less angst ridden, somewhere where he could get a decent drink. He clicked his fingers and a brilliant white light engulfed them.

Angel lifted his head to see the scenery evaporate into darkness. He was still there, Doyle was still there but everything else had disappeared. Angel felt as if he was drifting, suspended in the middle of nowhere until the blackness began to materialise into reality and the silence into sound. He gave a rue smile as he recognised immediately his new surroundings. This was more like it. The rattling of glasses, the idle banter exchanged between friends and colleagues. If he had pictured a posthumous meeting with his half demon friend, then this is the place he would have chosen. O'Shea's Irish bar, two blocks away from the old Angel Investigation offices.

"Now I know it may be a little hard to see me man", Doyle said from the seat opposite him. He had managed to procure for himself an old bottle of malt whiskey and was pouring himself a second glass in as many seconds, "But believe me when I tell you I am real. I may not be as you remember me but I am most definitely real"

"Then how is it that you're here", Angel asked accepting the offer of a drink from his former partner, "Am I dreaming?"

****

"Well I wouldn't call it dreaming man more like astral planing"

"Astral planing?", Angel gave a half smile as he took a sip from his drink, "Well it's nice to know that even when you're dead, you don't make much sense"

Doyle gave a mock sigh of offence, "What's the last thing that you remember Mr Sarcasm?"

"Cordy had a vision about some Braxior demons. There was a fight……."

"Yeah, well that fight left you more than a little worse for wear and right now you are in a very bad way." As if to emphasise the point, Doyle leaned forward and placed his thumb on Angel's forehead. 

Angel closed his eyes and in his mind he was no longer in a crowded bar but back at his apartment at the Hyperion Hotel. The room was filled with an eerie silence and he had an uneasy feeling. As he looked closer he could see himself lying unconscious on his bed his body wrapped in blood stained bandages. Cordelia was sat with him bathing his fevered body and it was obvious that she had been crying. Wesley was seated in the lounge area, surrounded by an array of his usual books. They both looked so tired.

"What is this?" he asked Doyle.

"What you are seeing is what is happening back in your reality", Doyle explained, "Your body is anchored and is suffering the effects of your battle. Your spirit has left your body and is now suspended between your conscious and sub conscious state. You are travelling an alternate plane like a ghost road. That was how I was able to meet you here. I live in this existence. I'm not alive but I'm not exactly dead either"

"Will I be able to get back?", Angel whispered. He wasn't afraid to die. In fact there were some days when he yearned for an end to his unlife but seeing the distress on the faces of his 'family', he knew now was not the time to go.

"Oh yeah there's no question of that", Doyle assured him, "Hence the reason why I'm here. I've been sent to guide you back but first I need to talk to you about something" 

Doyle withdrew his hand and returned to his beloved bottle. Immediately the image in Angel's head cleared and slowly he opened his eyes. He felt himself relax a little. He was more comfortable about seeing Doyle now that there was a reasonable explanation for his presence. He had missed this man more than he realised. Doyle had been such an influential and colourful character in his life even if his impact had been tragically short lived.

"It's good to see you", he said finally to Doyle feeling just a little embarrassed.

"It's good to finally be seen", Doyle replied. He noticed the questioning glint in Angel's eyes and continued, "I may not have been with you in body but I've still been around even if you didn't know I was there"

"You've been keeping and eye on me". Angel should have known that Doyle would never truly leave them.

"You and Cordelia of course". Doyle returned, his mind drifting back to the memories of his princess. His one regret was that he never told Cordelia the truth about who he really was until it was too late. He had fallen in love with Cordy from the first moment she had insulted him and he had wasted his chance to be with her because of his insecurities over his half demon status. Doyle was brought back to the present by the sound of Angel's voice.

"So you're an Oracle now"

Doyle shook his head, "I'd say I was more of the freelance type. Too much of a free spirit and all that"

"And you work for the PTB"

"Well they do pick up the tab once in a while but just between you and me I did draw the line at the body paint and togas. Not my style man"

Angel smiled at the ease in which Doyle had managed to inject humour into their conversation. It had always been that way. Doyle had the ability to diffuse any dire situation with a lighthearted comment as much in the same way as Xander had back in Sunnydale.

"You said that you wanted to talk to me about something," Angel reminded him pouring yet another drink into Doyle's now empty glass before taking a final sip of his own.

"I certainly did", replied Doyle accepting the offer of alcohol all too willingly, "I wanted to talk to you about your Shanshu"

Angel choked on his whiskey , "My Shanshu, you know about my Shanshu?"

"Of course I do man. I make it my business to know about these things and it just so happens that I have been bargaining with the PTB on your behalf". Doyle leaned closer to Angel trying to make sure that the next words from his mouth were for Angel's ears only. "I've asked them to grant you your humanity sooner than prophesised in the Scrolls of Aberjian. It took some persuading but I think they've finally succumbed to my Irish charm"

Angel placed his glass on the table and leaned back in his chair. He could not believe what Doyle was saying to him, "Why Doyle? Why would you do that for me?" he asked, a slight tremor in his voice. "Why would you want to grant something to me that I don't even deserve"

Doyle had expected Angel to react in this unworthy manner after all he was the King of Torment. Angel only ever remembered the pain and suffering he had inflicted on others in a killing spree that had lasted approximately 150 years. He always dismissed the lives he had saved since, the demons he had killed, the good he had done. Doyle hated that. How could Angel expect those around him to forgive him for the deeds of Angelus if he couldn't forgive himself. Doyle believed in Angel. He believed he had a good heart and more than anything he wanted to grant Angel a happiness that had been denied him since that fateful night in a Galway alley 258 years ago. His only job now was to convince Angel that he was indeed worthy. He looked to his friend. Angel's head was hung low and he was staring at his hands. Doyle couldn't be sure but he thought he saw a tear forming in Angel's eye and once again he was overcome with guilt at hurting Angel more than he had planned.

"You want to know why I asked the PTB to grant your humanity", Doyle said trying to get Angel's attention back. Angel nodded sadly.

"Because it's your time Angel. It's time that this sick curse of yours is broken and you're allowed to live again. You deserve this"

Angel obviously did not agree, "But what about all the people I've killed, the families I've destroyed", he said, his voice was almost a whisper and Doyle had to strain to hear.

"And what about those who owe their lives to you. Angel I have watched you time and time again save the souls of strangers all in the name of redemption. Now its time to save your soul. Believe me the Powers wouldn't have granted my request if they didn't think that you had earned it."

Angel allowed Doyle's words to sink into his disorientated skull. Had he really made amends for all the lives he had taken. Could there finally be an end to his dark existence. He had to have faith that what Doyle was saying was true. And if it was……….. 

"I can't believe this is happening", he whispered to himself. His remorse had now been replaced by a feeling of optimism and he smiled at Doyle, "I'm gonna be human", he laughed, "I'm gonna be human"

Angel attracted the attention of the nearest waiter and ordered a bottle of champagne. If ever there was a reason to celebrate surely this was it. Doyle was more than pleased at the change in Angel's demeanour and hated to burst Angel's bubble of hope but he had not yet given him the full details of his deal with the PTB. 

"Angel before you get too carried away with yourself, there's something else that you need to know"

Angel's smile stopped abruptly, "I knew it was too good to be true", he said slumping in his seat

"Now its not what you think", Doyle interrupted eager to maintain Angel's positive outlook, "The Powers have just decided to add a safety clause that's all"

"A safety clause. What do you mean ?"

"Well let's just say that recent events with a certain blonde haired vampire have the PTB running scared that soul or no soul you could still be turned to the dark side. They obviously don't want to see that happening so they will grant your humanity on one condition."

"And that is?", Angel asked suspiciously.

Doyle sighed heavily, "They want to assign a guardian to you. Someone who will be bound to you until the end of your days", he explained, "They also want you to choose who this person should be"

Angel's smile returned. To him it was obvious who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and Doyle should have known who he would choose too. As far as Angel was concerned all he had to do was say HER name and he could go back to his world and start his new life as a living, breathing human being.

"Then I choose……..", Angel began

"Wait, wait before you say anything I think you have to realise the importance of this decision", Doyle said holding his hands up and stopping him dead in his tracks. "I know that you have one person in your mind Angel, but you have to choose wisely and think with your head not necessarily with your heart this time. You see whomever you choose will become the protector of your soul. If you choose wisely then your Shanshu will be granted almost as soon as you return back to your reality but if you choose incorrectly then the PTB may decide not to grant your humanity at all not matter what the prophecy may say"

"Then how do I know who to choose?", Angel asked dejectedly. "If you say that Buffy may not necessarily be my guardian, then who else could it be?"

"I told you I was here to guide you," Doyle said encouragingly, "And I will. I want to help you make your choice so by using my new found power I'm gonna transport you from here and place you in different scenerios with each of the women in your life today. You have to think about the impact each one has made on you and whether you can trust her enough to hold your destiny in her hands. Do you think you can do that?"

Angel gave a reluctant nod. This was turning out to be a very strange night.

"Are you ready?", Doyle asked him. Angel agreed and braced himself for whatever Doyle was about to do. He felt Doyle's thumb on his forehead again.

"Then close your eyes, your journey is about to begin"

To Be Continued…………………..


	2. Rekindling Romance

CHAPTER FOUR : The Buffy Chapter **__**

CHAPTER FOUR : The Buffy Chapter

Cordelia was tired, she was emotional but more than anything she was scared. It had been over two days since Angel had returned to the hotel injured and there was still no sign of him regaining consciousness. In fact if anything his condition seemed to be growing steadily worse as the wounds created by the Braxior spindles were not healing as quickly as they should and a short while ago Angel had succumbed to a high temperature fever. When that happened Cordelia had felt relieved yet guilty to see some reaction from Angel. With no heartbeat, no pulse or breath to rely on, his increased body heat had proved to her that in some way Angel was still with her and that gave her an odd sense of comfort.

Wesley had managed to persuade Cordelia to take a break from her recurring bedside vigil and she had agreed albeit reluctantly. She now found herself lying on the bed in one of the many empty rooms at the Hyperion gazing up at a pale and grimy ceiling. She gave a casual glance at her watch and noticed the time. It was five minutes short of midnight. Cordelia let out an exhausted sigh which in turn changed into an extensive yawn. She was unbelievably tired yet she knew she wouldn't sleep. Her mind was too active. Her thoughts were too full of Angel.

She felt the tears begin to well in her eyes for what seemed the hundredth time that night when she thought of how fragile Angel had become. There had been many instances in the past where she had felt powerless, and often she could not help out in battle but right at this moment she had never felt so helpless or, as much as she hated to admit it, she had never felt so alone. Angel had become the singularly most precious person in her life and she needed him more than she would ever dare admit. Angel was immortal and there wasn't supposed to be a chance that he could be taken from her. 

She turned in the bed and pulled the covers over her shoulders trying to capture any warmth she could and cast out her ever increasing fear. As she tried to settle, Cordelia cast her mind back to her first meeting with Angel post Sunnydale.. She had bumped into him purely by chance at some glamorous LA bash where they had chatted for a short time, exchanging pleasantries and life updates. Cordelia cringed as she recalled how eager she had been to return to networking with the Hollywood bigwigs who were there that night rather than give Angel the attention that he deserved. She had dismissed him as readily as she would any high school inferior in favour of talking to people who were in her own words "actually somebody". She thought that would be the last she would see of him. How wrong could she have been.

Angel didn't mind her lack of sensitivity of course. As far as he was concerned that was classic Cordelia Chase behaviour. He certainly didn't seem to hold it against her when he saved her life the following evening from the jaws of one those LA 'somebodies', nor when he put her life back on track by offering her a job. Looking back maybe she had bullied him into the job part but he took her in anyway and had kept her safe ever since.

Cordelia smiled as she continued to remember that party. She had spent the better part of the evening trying to impress an agent by the name of Oliver Simon but without much success. Imagine her disbelief when she discovered a short time later that Angel had been offered and refused Oliver's business card without 'working' him but by just being Angel 

"He thought I had a quality", Angel had told her and looking back now, Cordelia could not argue with that sentiment. Angel had always been there when she needed him, her memories were littered with times when he had saved her again and again. When she was pregnant with demon children for example, Angel hadn't judged her but instead acted as her protector. When she was tormented by her recurring visions, he had been her strength, her lifeline and when she experienced the lowest of her lows after Doyle had lost his life, he had been her cornerstone. Now above everything else he was her closest friend and she loved him dearly.

Cordelia had seen a change in Angel too in the time that they had worked together. He didn't seem to brood as often and she liked to think that in her own small way she had helped with that. He seemed to be less afraid around strangers, seeing them for the souled human beings they were instead of either a potential feast or as a jury of vengeful descendants waiting to condemn him for his sins of the past against their elders. 

She could never describe Angel as light hearted but his heart certainly didn't seem to be as heavy these days. Not since his epiphany anyway. Cordelia had even managed to make him smile on more than one occasion and she didn't just mean his trademark half smirk but a full on smile that radiated across his entire face and what an incredible sight it was to behold. 

It was with this calming image in her head that Cordelia felt herself give way to her weariness and fell into a deep, badly needed sleep.

@@@

Angel was almost too scared to open his eyes afraid of what he might see. Doyle had asked him if he could handle the choices he was to be faced with and now considering it more closely, Angel wasn't so sure that he could. Angel had been a loner for the better part of one hundred years, learning to depend on nobody but himself, and although he had formed close emotional ties with several incredible human beings in recent time, he wasn't keen on laying the responsibility for his whole future in the hands of another. It just didn't seem fair that an innocent life was to be bound to him forever all in the name of his salvation. Maybe he should refuse this chance for humanity and continue his search for forgiveness by fighting the very evil he once was as, what Cordy described as, The Dark Avenger.

A small shrill of laughter pierced the air bringing Angel out of his realm of uncertainty. His eyes quickly flickered open as he finally took in his new surroundings recognising where he was immediately. He also knew who he had been brought here to see.

Buffy. His beloved Buffy.

There was a cool chill in the air brushing against his face like heaven's fingertips. Tentatively, Angel took a couple of paces forward, his stomach knotted with nervous excitement as he searched for his heart's companion. He could almost hear her heartbeat calling to him, guiding him home. Further footsteps brought him closer to her, closer to her warmth, closer to her arms. He could feel her with every part of his being and it drove him crazy. Always did.

Then he saw her and his unneeded breath was taken from him. 

Tears formed in Angel's eyes as he watched Buffy glide across the ice of the Sunnydale Ice Rink just as he had watched her so long ago. She was graceful and elegant and every bit as beautiful as his memory had preserved her, if not more so. 

Angel leant forward on the rink barrier content to watch Buffy's lithe body twist and turn with such fluidity. She looked so happy and free, he could feel himself falling in love with her all over again. Buffy caught Angel staring at her. She smiled as she waved to him and skated over to where he was stood.

"You're late", she said reprimanding him with a playful punch to the arm, "You were supposed to have been here over half an hour ago".

Angel was taken aback at the normality of the situation. This wasn't what he had been expecting. Did Buffy know the circumstances of this meeting or was Doyle just trying to place him in real life situations as a taster of what his humanity could be like. 

"I said you should have been here half an hour ago", Buffy gently reminded, "What took you so long?"

Angel brought his attention right back to where Buffy's hazel eyes were twinkling with mischievous intent.

"I…..I'm sorry", he managed to stammer in return , "I got delayed that's all"

He didn't know why he was nervous around her. Buffy was always the one person who made him feel most at ease. Yet seeing her here in front of him like this as if all the pains of the recent months had never happened, before Angelus, before Hell, before Faith, before The Ascension, before he had left her, unsettled him more than he dared to confess. 

"It wasn't demon trouble was it, you're not hurt or anything?", Buffy asked worriedly, placing one hand on his forearm and the other brushing his hair away from his forehead as if checking for any sign of injury.

"No Buffy, I'm fine, honest", Angel assured her taking her hand from his face but keeping it firmly fastened in his own.

Buffy gave a gentle sigh and smile of relief. As Angel looked into her eyes, he could see the depth of emotion she felt for him. He was touched but it scared him too. Buffy's mum had once said that Angel was all that Buffy could see of tomorrow and in the mist of her beautiful orbs that certainly seemed to be true. She always placed his unlife above her own and Angel was fearful that in her need to protect him, she would lose her own life. After all wasn't that the reason why he had left in the first place. Isn't that why he had given back his humanity the first time it had been gifted to him. To keep his Buffy safe even if it meant never being able to be with her. 

"So are you gonna stand there all night or are you gonna get on the ice or what stealth guy?", Buffy asked, pulling at his hand, interrupting his train of thought. Angel froze. Did Buffy just say what he thought she just said. He hoped not. 

Inwardly Angel panicked, "You are joking right", he answered, hoping against hope that she was. He didn't like the idea of hauling his massive frame around a rink of frozen water. The idea of flailing about like a bumbling fool, especially in front of Buffy did not appeal to him in the slightest.

"Why would I be joking?", Buffy asked bemused

"Well I thought that you could skate and enjoy yourself and I could lurk and watch from the sidelines. After all isn't that what I do best"

Buffy raised her eyebrows at Angel, "Where's the fun in that?", she said, "It's a big rink, you and me, we could skate together". Buffy wasn't being deterred, so Angel tried another tactic.

"I don't have any skates", he said shrugging his shoulders in defeat hoping that Buffy would drop this subject any time soon. Unfortunately she didn't.

"Angel, lots of people don't have skates, that's why places like these hire them out", she replied drawing his attention to a large booth at the other side of the rink with an oversized sign hanging above it declaring 'ICE SKATE RENTAL'

"But ….but…..maybe they won't have my size. I have quite ……er……big feet", Angel returned. He was struggling for excuses now. He knew it and Buffy definitely knew it.

"Angel, what is the matter with you?", Buffy asked. She paused for a moment trying her upmost to keep the amusement from her voice before continuing, "You're not scared are you Angel?"

Angel almost felt himself blush, "No of course not", he replied a little too quickly before confessing, "It's just I've that I've never skated before and well I wouldn't want to………you know"

"Look like an idiot perhaps?"

Angel smiled and reached out placing the palm of his hand on Buffy's face gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. Buffy had seen through him, seen through his fears and insecurities. No matter what the situation, she always managed to do that somehow.

"Well I do have a dark, mysterious brooding guy image to keep up you know and I don't think revealing the geek within me will do well for my reputation", he smirked.

"Its okay", Buffy reassured him, turning her face and placing a soft kiss on Angel's palm, "There's only me here and I'll show you what to do. Besides you never have to be anybody but yourself with me."

For a moment, there was complete silence between them. Angel wanted to kiss her so badly but he thought back to Doyle's words. Think with your head not with your heart. If he allowed himself one single touch of her lips then he knew he would be lost forever.

"Should we try and find some skates then?", he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before retreating to the relative safety of the booth Buffy had pointed out to him earlier, "But you have to promise not to laugh at me", he shouted back at her.

"I promise", she said as she followed him.

Ten minutes later, Angel stood nervously at the entrance to the ice rink. Buffy was already on the ice waiting for him. All he had to do was get to her and everything would be OK. Simple in theory but in practice it was a different matter. Buffy sensed Angel's apprehension and skated over to where Angel's stubborn feet refused to leave terra firma. She outstretched her hand towards him.

"Come on babe, first steps are the worst but you'll be OK I promise", she encouraged. One look at the smile radiating from her face and Angel knew he would do anything she asked of him. Tentatively he placed his left foot forward and immediately felt as if the floor had been moved from under him. He grasped wildly as Buffy managed to catch him before he hit the floor. Buffy knew that she had promised not to laugh at him but she couldn't suppress the giggle that escaped from her lips as Angel clung desperately to her. With Buffy stood in front of him supporting both of his arms, Angel managed to straighten himself.

"You promised you wouldn't laugh", Angel said as he fought to keep his balance.

"I know and I'm sorry but I just couldn't help it". The smile was still playing on Buffy's lips but she managed to keep it at just that. Angel wobbled in her grip a couple of times, so she removed one of her hands from his and placed it around his waist for better stability.

"OK, the key to skating is balance", she began, "Once you have mastered that then the rink is your oyster….or…..er… something like that. So maintain your balance then we can move."

Angel could do nothing but stare at the ominous expanse of ice directly below his feet. He didn't want to move, he couldn't move. He was perfectly content to stay in the arms of his one time lover within easy reach of the safety barrier.

"I don't want to move. I want to stay here", he confessed to Buffy.

"Angel sweetheart you have to move", she cajoled, "It isn't called ice standing you know it's called ice skating."

"Don't care I still don't want to move"

Buffy smiled at the beautiful man beside her and placed a kiss on the back of the hand she was still holding. 

"Look baby I'm here and I'm not going to let anything happen to you", she assured him.

Angel believed her. He always believed her. She would always keep him safe remember.

"Alright what do I have to do?", he asked her.

"Angel, you practice T'ai Chi and correct me if I'm wrong but that's all about focusing your inner balance right?"

Angel nodded in agreement.

"OK, I want you to do whatever it is you need to do to get yourself centred, gain your balance and keep yourself still"

Angel admired the fact that Buffy had used something useful that he could relate to in this situation. He closed his eyes, and drew in several unneeded yet slow and deep breaths. Instantly his whole demeanour changed. Instead of the nervous crouched huddle, he stood tall and proud, his balance perfectly attuned. He opened his eyes and smiled down at Buffy.

"Now what", he asked. Angel wouldn't quite say that the excitement was there yet but the enthusiasm was definitely increasing.

Buffy noticed this, "I want you to slowly push your left foot away from your body and then do the same with your right."

Angel did as instructed, his first few steps uncertain and faltering. Every time he felt his balance shift, Buffy was there to support him. It wasn't too long however before he found his footing and was gliding slowly but steadily across the ice with Buffy by his side. A few minutes more and he felt confident enough to go it alone. He carefully manoeuvred himself away from Buffy's tender hold and skated a few feet unaided. The longer he stayed upright, the more adventurous he became, increasing his speed. 

Buffy smiled as she watched Angel. 

"That's it Angel, you're skating", she shouted, clapping her hands excitedly.

Her heart somersaulted at the absolute joy radiating from her immortal babe. She had once told Angel, that skating was an escape for her, a chance to forget the arguments that invaded her childhood family home, a chance to be just any other girl and not the chosen one. She was overwhelmed at seeing that gift of simplicity passed on to her one time and true mate. Buffy felt a lump form at the base of her throat from just witnessing his happiness. As she watched Angel contentedly drift around her, she saw the freedom that had been missing from his life for over two centuries. It was incredible and she felt very privileged. When she looked at Angel now, she didn't see the most feared vampire in Europe nor did she see a demon tortured by his own soul. All she saw was a man. An incredible, beautiful, precious and courageous man. A man she loved more than anyone in her world. A man she would die for tomorrow.

Angel laughed out loud. He could not remember the last time he had had so much fun without blood being spilled or torture being involved. His initial reservations on taking to the ice were long since dismissed, as he sauntered around the ice now with relative ease. The only problem he had was he didn't know how to stop.

"Er….Buffy", he shouted over his shoulder quite desperately, "Where are the brakes on these things?"

Buffy looked over to where Angel was heading straight for the crash barrier with apparently no sign of slowing down.

"Angel", she called back to him skating in his direction, "You need to stop. Turn your blades sideways and………"

Too late. A 248 year old vampire and a hard unrelenting crash barrier met head on. For once, the vampire was not the victor and ended up in a disgruntled heap on the floor. Buffy was with him in seconds.

"Are you okay?", she asked, reaching her hand towards him to help him up. Angel ignored it for the time being and managed to pull himself up into a sitting position and checked himself over for any sign of damage.

"I'm fine", he replied brushing loose flakes of ice from his lap, "Just my pride been bruised that's all" , he winced slightly as he moved, "oh and my bottom" ,he added rubbing the offended area gingerly.

Buffy gave Angel an amused yet apologetic smirk, "I'm sorry", she said sweetly, "I guess I should have taught you how to stop before I taught you how to start",.

Angel nodded, "Horse – stable door – bolted", he replied in a semi sarcastic tone.

Buffy smiled and reached her arm out to him again, "You'd better get up, you're getting a damp patch on your pants and it could be you know……er…….kind of embarrassing"

Angel looked at the ever darkening shadow on the material of his trouser leg and decided Buffy was right. He stretched out to take her offered hand but instead of allowing her to pull him up, he pulled her down so that she landed non too gracefully on top of his lean body. Bringing his arm around her waist, he held her close to him.

"Angel, what are you doing?", Buffy squealed. She didn't know whether to struggle or to lie still contentedly in his arms. She decided on the latter.

"I'm just showing you what the view is like from down here", Angel replied, "It's kind of pretty don't you think"

"Breathtaking I'd say"

Buffy was lost in the depth of Angel's chocolate eyes. They had always held a hypnotic attraction to her and they portrayed Angel's emotions so much. As she looked into them now, she saw nothing but Angel's devotion to her. They shone with trust, admiration and need. She could also see the conflict that flickered once in a while as if he wasn't allowed to love her. Buffy reached out and gently caressed Angel's face. She ran her fingertips from his hairline to his chin, exploring every contour with such tenderness.

"You should get up", she whispered affectionately, "You'll freeze on this ice"

"I'm a vampire, I don't feel the cold", he replied moving a few strands of loose hair away from her face so he could study her beauty. Buffy sensed this and lowered her eyes from him feeling a slight blush taint her cheeks. Angel lifted her chin gently regaining their eye contact.

"Besides, you're all I need to keep me warm", he smiled at her, "you're my very own hottie"

Buffy grinned and took a playful swipe at the man beneath her.

"Listen to you with your 21st century lingo", she teased, "I bet you didn't say that to your 18th century ladies of the court"

"And as I've told you before, that's because they were all incredibly dull", he smiled in return.

Angel placed a hand on either side of Buffy's head and gazed lovingly into her eyes. 

"I want you to know Buffy that nobody has ever made me feel the way that you do"

The tear that had threatened to spill earlier, slowly rolled down Buffy's cheek now.

"Good", she whispered as she lowered her head and placed it just by Angel's ear, "Because I've never loved anyone the way that I love you"

It had seemed at eternity since Angel last heard those words come from her lips or from his.

"I love you Buffy", he said quietly pulling her even closer to him. He craved her touch and needed to feel her for as long as inhumanly possible.

"I'm sorry I let you go Angel," Buffy said, kissing Angel's forehead, "I promise that I'll never, ever let you go again"

Angel wasn't sure if Buffy meant letting him go on the ice that led to his fall or whether there was a hidden deeper message in there somewhere. Maybe Buffy did know that this scenario wasn't real and she wanted to leave him with a lasting message.

Unable to resist any longer, their lips touched in the most gentle of kisses. Angel closed his eyes and allowed himself to be overtaken with his desire to be with Buffy. Their kiss deepened, as did his longing to stay here and never return to the world where she was out of his life. Surely his destiny was to be with the woman he loved. If not, then was it a destiny worth pursuing.

He missed her. He missed this. The softness of her lips. The warmth of her breath. The tenderness of her touch. The gentle pressure of her tongue and the sweetest taste of her. 

When Angel finally opened his eyes, Buffy was gone.


	3. Truths Told

CHAPTER FIVE :The Willow Chapter **__**

CHAPTER FIVE :The Willow Chapter

Wesley kept vigil as Angel quietly slept. Angel was still running a fever and suffered sporadic fits of incoherent hallucinations but it seemed, for the moment, he had finally settled. 

Wesley was hopeful that the worst for his friend was finally over. He was sure that Angel could not continue to suffer in the way that he had been. Wesley prayed to whatever God he thought may be listening that it was only a matter of time before Angel recovered from the poison that had run rampant through his system and returned to the land of the living, (in the proverbial sense of course), any time soon.

It was eerily quiet in Angel's room. Wesley had been alone in his watcher duties for the past couple of hours while Cordelia and Fred were hopefully now sleeping in the rooms nearby and Gunn had taken on the responsibility of patrolling keeping LA safe from the demon undesirables. 

Wesley placed the book he had been reading against his lap and looked up at the peaceful chiselled features of his fallen comrade. Standing from his chair, the book falling to the floor, Wesley stretched his tired limbs. They were stiff and ached from the amount of time he had spent sitting stationery in one position. He moved to the bed and carefully checked the bandages covering Angel's wounds. Angel flinched and stirred in his sleep, as Wesley gently touched the skin surrounding the puncture wounds feeling Angel's increased body temperature through his fingertips.

Wesley bathed and redressed Angel's injuries with clean bandages and moved into the kitchen to retrieve a supply of blood. He had been feeding Angel with a diluted blood broth every four hours, encouraged by the response Angel had initially shown with Cordelia when first injured. After making up his latest batch, Wesley returned to the bedroom and sat on the edge of Angel's bed. Slowly, he lifted Angel's head and placed the cup of warmed liquid to his mouth. Angel drank without too much effort although never leaving his state of unconsciousness.

Wesley placed the now empty cup on the nightstand and resumed his place in the leather bound chair at the side of the bed. He sighed heavily. He didn't know how much more he could do to help his vampire friend. Wesley smirked at that last thought and was presented with a sudden sense of irony. 

Vampire. 

Friend. 

Two words that he never thought that he would ever put together in relation to himself, yet here he was gladly willing to trade places with the man lying desperately ill before him because Angel was his friend. His best friend. And a vampire.

Wesley leaned back in the chair resting his weary head against its high back. He was too weary to return to reading so he simply closed his eyes and allowed his memories to wash over him.

He remembered that it was not too long ago that Angel had been in a very similar position to the one he was in now only it was Buffy and her former watcher, Rupert Giles, who had kept vigil over him then. Faith, the rogue slayer, had shot Angel with a poisoned arrow in an attempt to distract Buffy, the true slayer, away from The Mayor, his planned ascension and the end of the world - again. They had desperately sought his help and the help of The Council but there was nothing that he could do. Angel had been moments from being released from his immortality when Buffy had saved him. With her own blood. Slayer blood.

Wesley had not long since arrived from England when it happened. He was on his first assignment from The Council and was all fresh faced and eager to make an impression. He had no knowledge or comprehension of the close knit Sunnydale family he suddenly found himself forced upon, nor did he know how much of an outsider he really was. He did not understand why anyone, let alone a slayer, would freely offer her throat to such a vile creature as a vampire in an attempt to save its life. He just could not understand that kind of loyalty and devotion. As far he was concerned it was a repulsive gesture which defied everything he and The Watchers Council stood for. He knew that Angel was special. He knew that Angel had a soul. He recognised that this unique vampire had even helped to save his own life from a crazed monster named Balthazar, but it made no difference. Wesley Wyndham-Price was taught that vampires and demons were the enemy and there could be absolutely NO exception to that rule. 

What a difference time can make. What a naïve fool he had been.

Less than year later, Wesley had found himself in very different circumstances. He had been fired from The Watchers Council for his incompetence and was left in a country thousands of miles from his homeland with no money or prospects. Being involved in the rebellion against The Ascension, albeit for a very, very short time only, inspired Wesley to continue with his calling to destroy demon forces. It was what he was trained to do and he certainly did not want to return to England the failure his father always said he was. 

He had run into Angel again as they were pursuing the same demon and they had found a way of working together to rescue Cordelia from being sold at a demon auction. Angel had offered him a job and a chance to find his purpose again. Initially, Wesley once again found that he was an outsider. Angel and Cordelia had just lost a friend by the name of Doyle and they were in no desperate need to replace him in their affections.

Slowly however, a mutual trust and bond had developed between the three of them and that was never more evident than when Voca had appeared and attempted to weaken Angel by taking away everything that was important to him. Cordelia had been struck down by a never-ending vision, which left her completely debilitated. Wesley himself had been badly injured when the Angel Investigations offices had been blown to pieces and he inadvertently had been the trigger. A short time later and with Voca defeated, it was also the time that Angel and his crew had discovered the news of Angel's impending humanity – his Shanshu. The result that came from this ordeal was the realisation that Angel Investigations were not only a business but a family which Gunn and now Fred of course were happily part of.

In the short time Wesley had been in the employ of Angel Investigations, he had felt himself grow in confidence and stature. A possessed little boy and the brief return of Angelus had once questioned his strength of will and his courage in the face of adversity. Yet everything that had happened to him either in Sunnydale or LA had shaped him into the man he was today. Wesley could never describe himself as a hero but he was no longer the coward everyone thought he once was. He owed that to his new family's belief in him and the belief he now found in himself.

As he cast a glance over at the sleeping demon, he knew that he was finally in a place where he belonged with people who cared and needed him as much as he cared and needed them. He didn't want anything, ANYTHING, to change that.

Suddenly, Wesley got the feeling that he wasn't alone. He felt another presence in the room with him, someone other than Angel that is. Cautiously he stood and scanned through the relative darkness. The only light that aided him came from a lamp on Angel's bedside table and so most of the room was cast in shadow.

"Gunn, is that you?", he called warily. He surveyed his surrounding area looking for a potential weapon to use in case the now undoubted presence turned out to be foe rather than friend.

"Relax", he heard an unfamiliar voice call back to him, "I'm not here to hurt 'ya"

From the shadows came a man a little shorter than Wesley, with dark ruffled hair. He looked like he hadn't shaved in days and the clothes he wore looked like they had been slept in more than once.

"Who are you and what do you want?", Wesley said in the direction of the stranger with a dominance in his voice which surprised him considering his weary state. He still was not convinced that this weird little man was not here to harm him or Angel in some way.

The visitor could feel Wesley's apprehension. He got that a lot. Slowly he took a couple of paces forward as Wesley took a couple of paces back. The stranger stopped and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender

"Look, allow me to introduce myself", he said leaning towards Wesley and outstretching his hand, "My name's Doyle. Allen Francis Doyle" 

Wesley gulped nervously, "D….D…Doyle as in Angel's d…dead friend Doyle", he murmured taking the hand offered in friendship lightly in his own.

Doyle sighed heavily, "Well if you want to be picky I suppose so yeah", he replied calmly, "But you more than anybody should know that a mortal death on this earth does not necessarily mean the ultimate end"

Wesley nodded. He had read countless recollections of human life beyond death experiences and if his memory served him correctly, Doyle had been half Brachen demon and maybe reincarnation was a normal feature of his breed. Doyle sensed this misunderstanding and corrected him. 

"Wes, I've not come back to life man", he explained, "I'm here on behalf of the PTB"

"The PTB?"

"Yep. I'm a wandering spirit, a kind of sentinel if you like. I'm here on a mission".

his piece of information made Wesley even more nervous and a little frightened.

"Have you come to take Angel back with you", Wesley asked mournfully. He did not want to lose his friend and mentor and he was willing to do whatever it took to make a deal with this Doyle character if it meant that Angel would be saved.

Doyle felt frustrated that his presence had been misinterpreted.

"No, no man, that's not why I'm here at all", he said reasoning with Wesley, "I didn't come here in the dead of the night to see Angel. Been there, done that. I came here to see you!"

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Buffy was gone. Out of his sight and out of his touch. Angel wasn't sure whether or not he could deal with that revelation

Angel now found himself seated in a movie theatre surrounded by dozens of hormonal teenagers. He glanced up at the large stereo surround screen in front of him just as a trailer for a forthcoming film was being shown. There was screaming and there was blood and from what he could make out, the film was about a mysterious killer who chose to murder his victims on Valentine's Day of all days. 

Angel gave an inverted smirk. He was intrigued by how fascinated the human race seemed to be with violent death. If some of the great Hollywood moguls had witnessed some of the true horrors Angelus had inflicted upon his victims in the height of his reign, then maybe they would not be so quick to display such atrocities to the world in the guise of entertainment. The lead guy wasn't bad looking though, Angel thought, so he was sure to bring in the young female crowd.

Curious about his current location, Angel took a casual look around him and smiled when he caught a glimpse of bright, shiny copper coloured hair sat on the seat to the left of him. He now knew who his next encounter was and also that it was to be with one of his very favourite people.

Willow.

He glanced in her direction again and this time caught her eye. Willow was sitting with a large tub of popcorn on her lap and was popping pieces into her mouth while still managing to smile at him in that infectious way she always did.

"Are you OK Angel?", she said leaning over to whisper in his ear. Angel nodded and accepted a piece of offered popcorn. 

"I'm fine Willow, what about you?", he asked in return. It had been a while since he had seen this little redhead and he had forgotten how much he enjoyed her company.

Willow's smile merely broadened in response as she signalled that the film was about to start. Angel had no idea what he was about to let himself in for but settled back in his seat and watched as the credits began to roll for a film entitled 'American Pie'.

A little under two hours later, Willow and Angel were leaving the cinema still smiling at what they had just seen.

"Thank you for coming with me Angel", Willow said as she fastened her coat against the cold, "With Xander and Buffy out of town, I wasn't sure I was going to get anybody to come and see this film with me tonight. I'm glad that it was you"

"My pleasure Will," he replied honestly. Despite his initial reservations Angel had enjoyed the movie. He didn't think he would when he realised he was about to watch an American sex teen comedy, but it had been a light hearted and rather amusing affair and easily took his mind off all that was happening to him and the seriousness of his current predicament.

Willow's mesmerising green eyes shone as she smiled nervously at Angel, both unsure of what the next move should be. Willow lowered her head breaking her gaze looking down at her now shuffling feet.

Angel was suddenly struck by a beauty in Willow that he could never remember seeing before. Willow had changed. She was a far cry from the shy schoolgirl who had dressed in fuzzy jumpers and dabbled with witchcraft. She was still shy, however she had also matured into an incredibly stunning young woman who had gained an elegance, which Angel couldn't help but admire. 

Angel found that he was caught in an indecisive moment. His head told him that he should get Willow home safely and away from the dangers of the Sunnydale night breeds. His heart however screamed that he should take this opportunity to spend as much time with Willow as he could, and learn more about the kind of woman Willow had become in the two years since he had seen her last

"Would you like to go for a walk", he asked finally coming to a decision, "It's a nice cool evening, o..or maybe we could go for something to eat, if…if you're hungry that is"

Willow's smile continued as she gently linked her arm through his, "I know this great little place", she replied warmly leading Angel away from the cinema.

As Angel and Willow made their way to their intended destination they talked about all kinds of things. Their conversation swung from college to Cordelia, from demons to dating. Angel couldn't believe how comfortable he felt in Willow's company while Willow couldn't believe how Angel had seemingly transformed from the taciturn shadowy guy she always known to Mr Talkative all of a sudden. She liked the change as she found Angel had a lot of interesting things to say.

When they reached the small yet intimate coffee house, they both chose a table close to the back away from the crowd and the noise of the jukebox. They studied the menu for a while, Willow finally ordering a Pepsi with a lime ice cream float, while Angel preferred a hot chocolate. Angel may no longer have been able to savour the many wonderful flavours that his human taste buds had subjected him to when he was alive for a day, but chocolate was the one taste he would always remember, even if he lived to be a thousand.

"So Angel", Willow said as they received their order, "You haven't told me what you really thought of the film"

"I liked it", Angel replied honestly.

Willow looked at him dubiously, her eyebrows raised to express her disbelief as she stirred the ice cream in her glass and sucked the remnants from her straw.

"I did. Honest", Angel insisted lifting his cup to his mouth only for the whipped cream to stick to his nose, "The band camp girl was a little annoying, although she was really pretty, but overall it was a fun no nonsense film"

Willow leaned across the table and wiped the offending sticky substance from Angel's face still eyeing him cautiously. She wasn't sure whether he was saying this to save her feelings or whether he was being genuine. 

"And another thing", Angel added trying a second time to sip from his drink, "I didn't realise how much pressure the kids of today were under to simply lose their virginity"

Willow smirked at Angel's take on the curses suffered by the current younger generation.

"I don't suppose you had that much trouble back in your day", she teased.

Angel cast his mind back to his wasted youth and gave a rue smile

"Ah well it was different back then so it was", he said slipping playfully into his Irish brogue

"I remember when me only worry was how quickly I could unlace a girl's corset, steal her virtue and make it back to the tavern in time for the next lovely lassie"

Willow laughed and to Angel it was such an enchanting sound. He wondered why he had never seen her this way before, so relaxed and open. Maybe it was because the Sunnydale Scooby Gang were usually too preoccupied averting an apocalypse to be relaxed or because his head was always too full of Buffy to truly see anyone other than his feisty young slayer.

"I bet that you were quite the ladies man when you wanted to be", Willow grinned, "A good looking guy like you amongst a haven of buxom maidens"

"Maybe," he replied draining the last dregs of his hot chocolate, "But then again I wasn't exactly much of anything back then. Except a disappointing layabout to almost anyone who knew me of course"

Angel had said it so matter of factly without any kind of emotion that the amusement on Willow's face dropped a little. She had never heard Angel say anything about his life before he was a vampire. She knew nothing of the kind of man that he was. He had always been so guarded when it came to those kinds of matters and yet here he had made a completely unprompted confession. Willow had always been captivated by Angel's mystery and she was interested to know more. 

"I think that's the first time you've told me anything about your human life Angel", Willow said quietly, echoing her mind's thoughts.

Angel simply shrugged his shoulders, "That's probably because there's nothing much to tell"

Willow watched silently as Angel beckoned the waitress and ordered his second hot chocolate of the evening as well as a chocolate muffin. The smile slowly crept back on her face as she pondered whether or not a vampire could get a sugar rush high.

"Angel", Willow murmured, "About this human thing, I'd like to know more if you'd tell me"

Angel glanced up and looked at his friend. She had such a trusting and innocent nature and her face encapsulated all of her sincerity. He was never entirely at ease exposing details of a life he wasn't exactly proud of but he knew that he had to do it. Someone was going to be bound to him for all of his eternity and that somebody could be Willow. She deserved to know anything she wanted to know.

"What do you want to me to tell you about?", he asked her.

"Everything. Anything", Willow replied, sitting forward to lean on her elbows, "Anything you want to tell me"

Angel smirked at the irony. If the decision were up to him he wouldn't say anything at all. There was so much he could tell her but much more he would rather keep to himself. He wasn't afraid of Willow discovering the history of his human life. Liam, his human persona, had been a misguided soul, rebellious and a little hot headed but he wasn't an evil man. Angelus however was pure evil and he was almost positive that Willow would want to know about him too. He just hoped that the truths she so longed to hear would not turn her away from him.

"I'll tell you what Willow", Angel said suddenly thinking of a compromise, "I'll make a deal with you. I will tell you one thing about my life, one thing that you have always wanted to know about me and it can be about anything, if you will answer one question of mine"

Willow knew exactly what she wanted to ask Angel, and she was pretty certain that she had no skeletons in her cupboard to hide from Angel, so he could ask her anything in return.

"OK, sounds fair to me", she replied, "Do you want to go first?"

Angel gave a small laugh as he shook his head.

"No you can if you want Will", he said making himself more comfortable as he prepared himself for Willow's undoubted barrage, "I can tell you want to, you have this cute little wrinkle thing going on at the top of your nose"

Angel was pleased to see that even with all of her new found maturity, there was still a part of Willow that became goofishly excited in her quest for knowledge. He saw these very same qualities in the latest member of his family, Fred back in LA with the possible exception that Fred seemed to be a little goofy all of the time instead of every now and then.

"So what do you want to ask me Will?", Angel prompted. The waitress had since delivered his new order and he was picking pieces of chocolate from his muffin, imagining their true taste instead of the bland flavour his vampire taste buds had left him with.

Willow played with her hands nervously. She knew what she wanted to say, what she wanted to ask yet she was having a mental debate as to whether or not it was appropriate. She looked up and caught Angel's gaze. His face so relaxed as if he was giving her permission to ask him anything her heart desired.

"I wanted to ask you about the night you were turned", Willow finally blurted out

Angel let out an unnecessary breath.

"Don't you already know that story Will", he answered, "Aren't you bored with it". 

Angel should have felt relieved that his transformation was all she wanted to know after all Willow could have chosen subjects much worse than this.

"I know", she agreed, "But I only know what I have read in the Watchers Diaries or heard others talk about. I want to hear it from you Angel, in your words. How it happened and how you felt when you changed from a being a human to a demon. Were you frightened? Did it hurt? How did it feel to be buried alive? Was Darla with you the whole time? Who was your first kill ? What happened when ….."

"OK, OK Willow," Angel said holding up his hands, stopping her before she ran out of breath, "I understand where you're coming from and I'll answer all of those questions believe me"

Willow blushed as she realised her excited ramblings had carried her away. She composed herself taking the final sips from her Pepsi Float and looked at Angel expectantly.

Angel tried to settle himself as he thought about what he was going to say. Confessing his soul was easier said than done he thought. Revealing the truth about what happened to bring him to this place approximately 274 years after the day he was born was an overwhelming prospect. He wasn't sure where he should begin. How do you even try to explain to someone how it feels to have your soul ripped from your body and to be damned for eternity.

Willow detected Angel's deep thought and hesitancy but she didn't prompt nor push. Instead, she waited patiently, more than willing to let Angel tell his tale in his own time. She reached across the table and took Angel's hand in her own, letting him know in her own way that she was there to help him through anything he was about to tell her.

Angel was grateful for Willow's reassuring touch and caressed her hand with his thumb. He briefly closed his eyes and the image of his fateful first encounter with his Sire materialised in his mind's eye. 

He could see her sat by the fire at his local alehouse in all her magnificence watching him, observing him, mesmerising him

Darla. His one time saviour

Darla. His long time lover and teacher

Darla. His soul's judge. His soul's jury. His soul's executioner.

"Darla came into the tavern at Galway", Angel said finally, putting his vision into words. He spoke so quietly that Willow strained to hear.

"She was incredibly beautiful, dressed so elegantly just like a true lady. I think I was involved in a bar brawl when I first saw her. She caught my eye and the vision of her hypnotised me", Angel whispered, his voice taking on the amazement he had felt that day, "She enthralled me and I was enraptured by her. Darla had that effect on every man in the room that night and she knew it. She counted on it."

Angel bowed his head for a moment breaking his contact with Willow's fascinated gaze. Willow misinterpreted this as emotional torment and immediately began to feel guilty.

"Angel," Willow spoke gently, "You don't have to continue if you don't want to. I can see this must difficult for you. I didn't mean to pry, I'm so so sorry"

Angel lifted his head abruptly and smiled warmly at his redheaded friend, "No, it's OK Willow, I'm fine and I don't mind really", he said reassuringly, "Besides a deal is a deal" 

Willow gave Angel's hand a gentle comforting squeeze, which Angel returned with gratitude.

"I didn't even speak to Darla when she was in the tavern", Angel said going back to his original story, "She just looked at me and held me in her gaze. I can't describe the mystery that emulated from her Will. She was so captivating. When she beckoned me from the alley outside the tavern, I couldn't help but go to her. I felt compelled."

Angel's eyes shone with the memory. He had seen Darla entice countless others to their deaths in the one and a half centuries he had travelled with her and it was a talent he too had perfected. It was a handy skill to have to ensnare your victims without too much of a struggle.

"She spoke to me of a different world, her world, an exciting new world far from Ireland and the cruelty of my father", he continued, "I was a restless young man back then Will and I yearned for a life away from Galway. It was if she had read my mind. I was ready to give everything to her for a chance to be free and she knew it"

Angel noticed that Willow's eyes had moved from his as she stared beyond him, her mind distracted and elsewhere.

"Are you OK Willow?", he said with concern.

Willow's eyes returned to his and Angel could see an ornate sadness there, "The cruelty of your father?", she whispered, repeating Angel's words back to him She couldn't let a throwaway comment like that go unnoticed. 

Angel now understood. Willow's pure soul hated anything bad happening to any of her friends.

"My father wanted the perfect son Willow", Angel explained placing his free hand over Willow's, "Let's just say I wasn't what he wished for and he liked to let me know. Discipline was harsh and painful back then"

Angel could see small shiny tears forming in Willow's emerald eyes. She didn't like the thought of Angel being beaten and he was touched by her genuine need to protect all those she cared for from harm including him.

"Do you want me to continue Willow?", Angel asked. He didn't want to say anything that would cause her any more distress, but the simple fact was the story of his life was no bedtime fairytale.

"Yes, I do", Willow replied, squeezing Angel's hand once more. 

Angel nodded, content that Willow was okay.

"When I saw Darla's face change I wasn't scared", Angel continued, "It was if I had known that this was to be my fate and it was the most natural feeling in the world. She comforted me, whispering to me right up until the moment her teeth sank into my neck and she started to drink my life's blood. I don't remember feeling any pain so I guess there can't have been any. It was one of the most intimate moments I think I have ever shared with anybody. I could feel my humanity being drained from me but strangely it didn't feel like death. Instead I remember an overwhelming sense of freedom" 

Willow's brow creased in confusion. How could Angel describe death as freedom. Was his childhood that bad that an end to his life was an improved alternative. Maybe she could ask him about it someday and maybe, just maybe, he would tell her. 

"I don't expect you to understand Willow", Angel said quietly, responding to her facial expression, "But that is how I felt. I could feel my heart slowing almost to the point where it stopped beating altogether. She held me to her breast and I tasted the blood she had released there. It was so warm, so intoxicating and rich yet as sweet as the sweetest honey. When I fell to the floor my body was dead, my soul was gone and Angelus was born. The last words my mortal ears ever heard came from her. Your destiny was all that she said"

Angel removed a fallen tear from Willow's cheek, "I've never told that last part to anybody", he whispered, "Not even Buffy"

"What happened next", Willow managed to say. She felt unbelievably privileged that Angel was sharing as much as he was.

"My friend found my body in the alley and took me home to my family. They buried me that very morning. I could feel them above me as I lay in the ground. I could sense their heartbeats and hear their blood coursing through their veins calling out to me. It was deafening. When I rose painfully from the earth that night, Darla was waiting for me. She called my turning a birth and I guess in a way she was right. I had been born again. Born into a life of eternity"

Angel paused for an unnecessary breath and continued. The memories were coming thick and fast and surprisingly not as painful as he had first anticipated.

"I can recall we were disturbed by a grounds man at the graveyard. He thought Darla and I were grave robbers. The gnawing hunger in the pit of my stomach was incredible and the only thought in my brain was to kill. I didn't feel my face change yet I could feel my demon screaming for blood. The grounds man tried to run but I was upon him before he could move. He didn't even have a chance to scream before I ripped his throat out"

"My next target was to be my father of course. After years of suffering by his hand, I wanted him to know how it felt to be the victim. Unfortunately my beautiful little sister, Kathy, answered the door. She thought I was an angel returned to her from the grave and I mercilessly used that against her. I guiltlessly went through Kathy to get to my father. Everything I ever felt for her was gone in a second. I murdered her without a second thought. I murdered them all. The blood of my Kathy is the darkest stain on my soul. And if I ever achieve true atonement, I will still never forgive myself for taking her hope and innocence away from her so violently. She never did anything but love and trust me and I betrayed her"

His last statement did hurt. Angel bowed his head and stared at his hands still joined with Willow's, "Is that everything Willow, have I told you what you wanted to know", he said, his voice edged with the guilt he know felt.

Willow could no nothing but nod mutely. She sat in complete shock. She had wanted to hear Angel tell this tale but had not expected him to open his heart so freely.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, disturbed only by the waitress who removed their empty dishes from the table.

"Maybe I should take you home", Angel said, momentarily breaking their deadlock. Again, Willow could do nothing but nod. She was too wrapped up in what she had just heard to form any kind of coherent sound.

Angel paid the bill and held Willow's coat for her while she put it on. The nervous silence continued as they made the familiar journey to the Rosenberg residence. 

"A…Angel," Willow finally said when they were more than half way home, "Isn't there something that you wanted to ask me? A question for a question, remember?"

"I remember Will", Angel replied softly, "But it doesn't matter anymore"

The atmosphere had turned decidedly melancholy and Angel had not planned for that to happen at the beginning of the evening. He preferred it when Willow was all infectious smiles and joyous enthusiasm not sad like she was right now. Sad because of him.

"Angel, of course it matters", Willow said disturbing his thought pattern, "A deal is a deal just like you said."

Angel opened his mouth to argue but instantly recognised Willow's resolve face. She was definitely not going to take no for an answer, of that he could be sure. At first he continued to hold her gaze, intent on trying to beat Willow at her own game, but the determination as well as the hint of disobedience hidden in her magical eyes made him think twice.

"Are you sure you want to do this Willow", Angel asked hoping that she would defer him.

Willow nodded, her smile returning as broadly as it had been all night, "I'm sure, after all I don't think I've anything to hide from you Angel"

Angel could see that Willow was unwavering and finally relented. 

"OK you win Willow", he said, the joviality returning to his own voice, "I want to ask you something that I've wanted to know for a long time"

Willow could feel nervous butterflies in the pit of her stomach but patiently waited for Angel to ask his question.

"I wanted to ask you…..", Angel trailed off before continuing, "Why did you return my soul?"

Willow stopped dead in her tracks and looked directly at Angel. She wasn't sure what question she had been expecting but it certainly wasn't this one. Willow had never spoken of the spell she had cast to return Angel's soul not since Buffy told her it had been successful. She had certainly never discussed it with Angel and she wasn't sure how she felt about discussing it with him now. There was no way that she could back out however. She had convinced him to ask his question and the least she could do was answer it.

Angel was all too aware that the feelings and knowledge he was asking Willow to divulge were as private and as sensitive to her as the details of his former life were to him. 

"I……I returned your soul for a couple of reasons Angel", Willow began as she resumed walking, "Mostly because of Buffy"

"B..B..Buffy?", Angel interrupted, "She asked you to return my soul"

"Sort of", Willow sighed heavily, "She didn't want me to do anything that would endanger me but I could tell how much it hurt her to see you as Angelus. She loves you so much Angel"

"I know Willow, I know". His recent encounter with Buffy had rekindled his memory of his love for her and of her love for him in return.

"I would have done anything to see her happy again", Angel heard Willow say, "And returning your soul was the best thing that I could think of to make her happy. I'm only sorry that she found out too late and that she had to send you to……", Willow paused, almost too ashamed to continue

"It's alright Willow", Angel assured her, "you can say it"

Willow still felt ashamed but said what she was thinking anyway.

"Hell" she said finally

The silence between them returned. Willow's imagination was running away with her as she considered the torment that Angel must have suffered during his time in then demon dimension. Angel didn't need to imagine, he remembered it all too well.

A few minutes later, they arrived at the front door of Willow's house.

"Thank you again for tonight Angel", Willow said as she searched for her key, "It's been a very…er…enlightening evening"

Willow gave her final smile of the night and made her way to the front of the house. Angel gently caught her by the arm to try and stop her. 

"You said there were a couple of reasons why you returned my soul Will", Angel quietly reminded, "Would you tell me the other reason before you go"

Willow turned to face Angel and took his cold hand in hers.

"The other reason I returned your soul Angel", Willow said affectionately bowing her head slightly to avoid eye contact, "Was for you"

Angel lifted Willow's chin as he whispered in disbelief, "M…m..me. But why?"

Emerald eyes met stormy brown as Angel was caught in a mental battle of confusion.

"You were my friend Angel", Willow said softly, "And I missed you"

"M…missed me", Angel stammered, "But I tried to kill you, I…I tried to hurt you"

"No YOU didn't", Willow argued in return, "Angelus did. You are not him Angel. All you have ever tried to do is help me. You saved me from a flamey death, rescued me from the mayor and always been there when I needed you. Do I have to go on"

Angel never ceased to be amazed by this incredible young girl and her unbelievable ability to forgive without question. He felt almost felt ashamed that she found the need to forgive.

"If anyone ever deserved their soul Angel, it's you", Willow continued, "And I'll always protect it whenever I can"

Angel considered Willow's words as another hidden message as he looked directly at her pretty face reaching out to touch her cheek. Willow leant into the caress, whether she meant to or not, she didn't know. With that last sentiment, Angel slowly moved his head closer to Willow's and placed a tender kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you Willow", Angel whispered 

As he pulled back, Willow's image slowly began to fade and Angel knew it was time to move on.


	4. Choices

**__**

CHAPTER SIX : The Faith Chapter

If Wesley hadn't known better he would have said that he was stuck in some fantastical yet sadistic dream. He was tired and stressed and felt like that he had experienced nearly every single emotion under the sun all in the space of a few unbelievably short hours.

His current feeling was a sense of overwhelming confusion as he cast his eyes in the direction of the Irishman before him. 

"You came here to see me?", Wesley asked finally finding the voice to question what was in his mind.

Doyle simply nodded as he began to survey the room, casually and curiously rooting through Angel's private possessions as he did so.

"But why, y..you don't even know me", Wesley replied seeming more confused than ever.

"And that's exactly why I'm here", Doyle replied wrinkling his brow at a small metal contraption he was holding that looked like some kind of medieval torture instrument, "I wanted to get to know you before I...."

"Take my life in place of Angel's", Wesley finished for him. 

It made such perfect sense that Wesley chastised himself as to why he hadn't thought of it before. He put his delay in judgement down to his weariness but was satisfied that he was correct in his assumptions now. After all who would you rather have on your side when facing the impending apocalypse. an ex-watcher who was mighty fine at research or a powerful vampire warrior who was proven in battle. There could be no comparison in the eyes of the PTB or indeed in the eyes of Wesley himself. As scared as he may have initially felt, Wesley knew that if his suspicions were correct then he would gladly lay down his life in exchange for the resurgence of the vampire with a soul. In all of his born days, no one had ever accepted him for who he was as Angel had. Wesley knew he was far from perfect and had made countless mistakes time and time again yet Angel had never judged him unlike so many other peers in his life. 

Doyle's head jerked up as Wesley's last comment caught his attention dropping the metal object he had been scrutinising so intently to the floor. He really had to talk to his employers about getting some kind of training on presentation skills or at least take lessons in diplomatic international relations or something.

"I was going to say that I wanted to get to know you before I had to return to the heavenly realm", he said to Wesley incredulously, "Why on earth would you think that I would want to take your life?"

"W...well you work for the PTB and so you wield a lot of p...power", Wesley stuttered explaining his reasoning, "Add to that your previous friendship with Angel and not to mention his value to your employers, a trade seems to be a perfectly logical presumption"

Doyle threw his hands up in the air in frustration knocking over a glass ornament in the process.

"Wes, tell me - do I look like some kind of evil bat winged harbinger of death?", he asked trying desperately hard to rescue the ever plummeting situation, "I mean I know I don't have the best fashion sense but do I?"

Wesley quietly shook his head as he lowered his face to look at his feet never once meeting Doyle's eye.

"That's because I'm not", Doyle continued, "Just because I don't wear golden sandals and a shiny halo doesn't mean that I'm not one of the goody good guys"

"Then I don't understand", Wesley said finally reverting his attention back to the Celtic man, the courage of his conviction slowly returning, "What other reason could you have for being here to see me?"

Doyle shuffled nervously, averting his gaze by picking up the remnants of the shattered ornament and placing them in his pocket. As he fidgeted he caught Wesley's inquisitive stare.

"You could say it's...er...personal business", Doyle uttered turning his back so that he faced away from the young Englishman.

"Personal business?"

"Yeah", Doyle replied his embarrassment starting to get the better of him. His mouth felt a little dry and he would have murdered for a shot of old Irish malt whiskey at that point. The air hung heavy with anticipation. Doyle turned around to find Wesley looking at him expectantly waiting for a reply to his unanswered question

"I wanted to meet you in person because...", Doyle paused considering his next words carefully, "Hell I wanted to meet the man who replaced me in the hearts and affections of those people I loved and left behind", he finished deflatedly.

Wesley's jaw dropped to the floor. This was not the answer that he had been expecting. What answer he had been expecting he didn't know either. Looking at the bedraggled man before him, Wesley felt ashamed that he had misjudged Doyle so badly.

"I'm sorry" he said to Doyle sincerely, "I...I jumped to the wrong conclusion about you. I automatically thought the worst and I'm sorry"

Doyle simply shrugged his shoulders in reply, "Ah forget about it man. I get that alot. I don't exactly look like your typical guardian angel next door now do I "

"Maybe you should try golden sandals and halos", Wesley suggested, a half smile playing on his lips. Doyle remained silent and merely smirked in response. 

Wesley felt momentarily humbled. He watched as Doyle began to anxiously fidget again, the awkwardness now returning in an unbearable manner.

"Can I offer you a drink of something?", Wesley asked reverting back to the role of host and beginning to feel more and more relaxed in Doyle's company, "...er....assuming of course that you still can drink considering your lifeless state"

Doyle's smile increased realising that normality, or at least Wesley's version of normality had now been resumed and his intentions now vilified

"As long as you don't mean a cup of Earl Grey", Doyle grinned in reply. Doyle could see why Wesley had been accepted into the gang. He was an amiable kind of guy if not a little stuffy. 

"Well I don't think Angel keeps anything stronger up here", Wesley replied looking around the room for any possible hiding places for liquor. He knew by reputation that Doyle like a touch of the hard stuff, "I do keep some beer downstairs however if that is any good"

Doyle nodded his approval, "Wes my man, that'll do just fine so it will"

Wesley left Angel's room and made his way to the Angel Investigations office in the large hotel foyer. [What a strange world we live in], he thought as he descended the main stairwell, [Here I am taking a break from keeping vigil over a sick vampire to fetch a six-pack of beer for a spirit from the netherworld. Unbelievable. If I ever decided to tell my story and write a book, then I'd either be very rich or my shrink bills would be HUGE]. 

His mind continued with this train of thought when he opened the door to Angel's apartment a few minutes later, six-pack in hand, to find Doyle sat on the end of Angel's bed watching as his fellow Irishman silently slept.

"Doesn't look too good does he?", Doyle whispered sensing Wesley's return.

"I think he's better than he was when he was first injured", Wesley replied placing the bottles of beer gently on the bedside table, "He seems quieter now and in less pain but I can't be certain if there has been any improvement at all. I just don't know what else I can do to help him"

At the sound of their voices, Angel stirred in his unrest, a painful sigh escaping his lips and a shudder running through his body. It only lasted a few fleeting seconds before he settled again and resumed a peaceful sleep.

"I'm worried about Cordelia too", Wesley said wincing slightly at Angel's anguished stirring, "I don't think that she is handling Angel being hurt as well as she makes out. She sits with him constantly, she feeds him, she bathes his fevered skin and she reads to him. I had a hell of a job persuading her to get some rest. If he doesn't come back to us soon or if he doesn't come back at all then ........"

Wesley stopped before he could finish the sentence. He desperately did not want to consider the consequences of Angel's death or the effects it would have on those who cared for him. Angel's recent sabbatical from their lives was a hurtful yet repairable damage, his death would have irrecoverable repercussions of that Wesley was certain.

"Aye, she always did have a soft spot for the big man", Doyle whispered hoping to divert Wesley's sadness. He gently eased himself from the bed trying not to disturb Angel's sleeping form any further and guided Wesley out of the bedroom and into the main living quarters, picking the beer up on the way. He felt a little awkward. He wanted more than anything to reassure Wesley that there was going to be a happy ending to this story and that Angel was going to recover, but his commitment to the PTB strictly forbade him to say anything. 

"Wes man", he said breaking the uneasy silence that had unwittingly formed, "I wish that I could tell you that everything is gonna be OK but the fact is I can't. What I can tell you is that Angel is a fighter and he's faced dangers like this before. If anyone can beat this and come back it'll be Angel and if anyone can pull him through it then it's you and Cordelia"

"And Gunn and Fred", Wesley added thoughtfully, "They care for him to"

"Then he has all the strength that he needs", Doyle said with a gentle encouraging slap to Wesley's back. "Now are we gonna get back to those beers before they get warm?"

Wesley nodded and smiled with gratitude at Doyle's kind and reassuring words. For the first time in a long while, he had hope that Angel was going to come through this and that was certainly worth a drink in his honour.

"Doyle", Wesley said as he opened one of the beer bottles and passed it to the half demon, "I'm curious about something"

"Oh yeah - what would that be?"

"Why would you think that I've replaced you?"

Doyle took a couple of long gulps from his beer before answering Wesley's question.

"I've watched you. From up there", he said pointing a finger towards the ceiling, "I've seen how close you, Angel and my princess have become, like a family and I guess in my own way I'm a little jealous. I wasn't really around long enough to form that kind of bond before I well you know....er...croaked"

Wesley didn't know what to say or whether or not he should say anything at all.

"I...it's not that I mind or anything you understand", Doyle continued, "I'm happy that they have got on with their lives and that you helped them and became a part of it. I just sometimes wish that I could still be with them. I get scared in case they, you know, forget me" 

"Forget you?", Wesley interrupted choking on his mouthful of beer, "How could they possibly forget you? I only met you five minutes ago and I'm pretty certain that you're gonna stick in my memory"

"Ah but that's probably because its not usual practice for you to down a few beers with a non corporeal seraph", Doyle surmised. 

"Granted it's not your usual everyday occurrence", Wesley agreed, "But you're not exactly an easily forgettable character. Doyle don't you know that the legacy you have left behind is unique"

"Unique?"

"Of course. Think about it, there wouldn't even be an Angel Investigations if it wasn't for you", Wesley said, "Angel would still be hiding and brooding in some darkened sewer somewhere, helping others but not sticking around long enough to care about anyone. Cordelia would probably still be so wrapped up in herself and jumping to the whim of some wealthy sugar daddy. You helped to shape who they are, helped to guide them, put them on their paths and they still miss you every single day"

"Really?", Doyle asked as he finished one beer and quickly moved on to another.

"Really", Wesley confirmed, "I know Angel misses your companionship, I don't think he opens up to anyone like he used to open up to you. And Cordy, did you know that she still carries a dog eared photo of you that she took from a videotape in her purse.." 

"No, no I didn't", Doyle whispered flattered by the response. He could feel himself beginning to blush and hoped that Wesley would think it was the effects of the beer.

"Not to mention that she conveniently throws your name back at me in almost every argument we ever have", Wesley continued. This particular piece of information seemed to bother him a little, "You're a bloody tough act to follow", 

Doyle bowed his head in modesty or embarrassment, which one he didn't know.

"I feel extremely lucky to have found a connection with two extremely incredible people", Wesley finished, his expression sincere, "But you have to know that you'll never ever be replaced Doyle. Not by me. Not by anybody"

"Well I'll drink to that", Doyle cheered clinking his bottle against Wesley's.

He couldn't help the smile that had just widened across the entirety of his face. Wesley had told him exactly what he needed to hear.

"Thanks man" he said appreciatively. 

Wesley simply nodded in return. He was so used to being the one who felt inferior and vulnerable so he found it satisfying to be able to use that to good effect and ease Doyle's insecurities.

"So tell me Wes", Doyle said turning the conversation back to joviality whilst rapidly finishing his second beer, "Does Cordy still have a never ending obsession with......"

"Shoes!", they both said simultaneously. Wesley laughed and nodded emphatically

"And does she still give you hell if you don't notice she has a new pair", Doyle carried on

"Yep she certainly does," Wesley smirked

"And if you don't know who designed them or how much they cost.......". 

They started laughing now.

"And what about that frown that appears at the top of her nose when she's about to have a screaming fit at you. Does she still do that?", Doyle said. He was having fun remembering Cordelia and the little idiosyncrasies that he had adored so lovingly.

"She does. And let's not forget the patented hand on the hip with the finger waggle", Wesley added as they both then demonstrated one of Cordelia's infamous traits. 

The laughter and the memories continued as Wesley and Doyle swapped observations and case experiences. They were so wrapped up in their conversation that they didn't hear the door to the apartment open and were unaware of Cordelia's presence until Wesley caught her eye.

"Cordelia", he said standing from his chair in surprise and walking towards to her. She still looked so tired and it was obvious that she had not slept, "You were supposed to be resting", he admonished.

"I...I heard voices and I thought that maybe Angel had come back to us", she whispered hopefully.

Wesley sadly shook his head, "I'm afraid there's no change Cordelia", he replied in return, cursing that the flicker of optimism that shone in her eyes had been extinguished so quickly.

"Then who were you talking to?", Cordelia enquired wearily, "Is Gunn back from patrol""

Again Wesley shook his head. Cordelia glanced over to the table to see who owned the second voice that she heard only to find her view obscured. She took a couple of steps forward but stopped almost instantly when she saw who now stood directly in front of her. Small tears formed in the corner of her eyes yet she could not turn away.

"Hey princess", Doyle said

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel watched his surroundings change around him until it disappeared completely and he remained in a throbbing white void. He felt like he was the only character on the blank page of a living, breathing comic book or as if he was riding some surreal roller coaster ride in some mystical amusement park.

Angel concentrated on the light, trying to discover if he could distinguish anything, but all his vampiric senses had seemed to switch off. He couldn't see anything, he couldn't hear anything and he couldn't smell anything. Silently he waited, the quiet unnerving him in a way it had never really bothered him before. As a solitary character Angel was not unused to being alone. Usually he was more than comfortable in his own company yet there was something about this kind of stillness that disturbed him more than he cared to admit.

Angel wondered whether it was because he was in a situation that he could not control. His movements around this alternate plane were being orchestrated he assumed by the Powers That Be. In his first encounter, they had taken him to his beloved Buffy, and then to the company of his good friend and confidante Willow. Now as he sat patiently waiting to see what their next move would be, he wondered how many 'chance meetings' were waiting for him. 

Suddenly a brief glimmer of something caught his attention. Slowly Angel stood and tentatively began to pace in small circles waiting to see where the next shaft of reality would come from. He felt a cool wind brush against his face and then it hit him. An incredible kaleidoscope of colour swirling all around him, their images merging from one form to the next evolving from transparency into solid mass. The gentle breeze now felt like a hurricane as objects began to take shape before him.

A huge oak table. Chairs. Books. Shelf upon shelf of weird and wonderful magical artefacts.

Angel briefly closed his eyes against the distorted imagery and waited until the momentary madness had subsided. When he reopened his eyes he could have sworn that his new location was The Magic Shop, a small and quaint establishment located in the Hellmouth town of Sunnydale. The shop was owned and run by Rupert Giles, a man that Angel greatly respected and admired because of the love and protection he gave to all The Scooby Gang members least of all his Slayer, Buffy.

Angel acclimatised himself to his new surroundings sensing that he was not alone. He cautiously focused his highly attuned sense of smell trying to determine who or what he found in his company. Each being that walked the face of this earth had a distinctive smell. Demons emanated a bitter acrid smell a little like acid, brought forth usually from the evil that coursed through their being and enhanced by their own particular breed. A vampires smell was not so pungent softened by the remnants of their previous mortality and sweetened by the taking of their life's sustenance.

The scent that hung in the air however was clearly human. It was pure, rich and intoxicating especially to the nose of a vampire, driven by the blood that pulsed so temptingly through each vein and artery and cleansed with the purity of a soul. In this instance there was also a faint hint of apple and honeysuckle leaving Angel to come to the conclusion that he was definitely in the presence of a woman.

But who?

The only women that Angel associated with Sunnydale were Buffy, Willow or Cordelia. He had already met with the first two names on his mental list and he could not understand why Cordelia would have been brought back here. She hated Sunnydale and the life that she had there. She would not want to be reminded of it at any cost. He remembered that he had had countless conversations with Cordelia about the kind of person she was when they met for the very first time. He was always struck by the loneliness that twinkled in her eyes when she talked about the empty friendships she endured with the Cordettes and how her life wasn't really worth much despite all that she appeared to have. Cordelia was happy in LA, she had found purpose and Sunnydale was merely a reminder of someone she no longer wished to be.

Angel paced the room for a few short seconds, his mind a maze of confused thoughts and overwhelming emotions. He was so distracted with his own conscious thought that he did not see the figure that moved out of the shadows.

"Hey stranger", a voice called out disturbing Angel's thought pattern

Angel glanced up towards the direction of the voice to see a very familiar face looking down at him from the first floor balcony.

"Faith", he gasped, "What are doing here?"

"Yeah well its good to see you too stealth guy", Faith replied with a slight grin as she made her way down the stairs towards Angel pulling him in to a brief hug.

"I…I'm sorry", Angel stuttered returning the embrace, "It's just that this is the last place that I would expect to see you. I mean the last time I saw you, you were….." 

"Doing time playing Little Miss Repentance at the local hellhole?", Faith finished for him in more of statement than a question, "Thanks for the reminder kiddo"

Angel said nothing momentarily bowing his head and breaking his eye contact with Faith when something suddenly occurred to him

"Er…Faith…you are supposed to be here aren't you", he asked nervously, "I mean its not that I'm not pleased to see you but you've not escaped or anything have you?"

Faith broke into an unbelievable smile as she witnessed the mild form of panic that had overtaken the features of the vampire before her

"Relax big man", she replied failing miserably to stifle the amusement in her voice, "I'm not here to stir trouble"

Angel's demeanour visibly relaxed and he allowed himself a wry smile when he realised that Faith was mocking him.

"Then what are you doing here", he asked finally, "And I mean that in a nice way of course" 

Faith was still smiling as she walked passed Angel towards the large oak counter behind him. 

"Managed to get through a few days without throwing down with an inmate", she answered jumping up onto the large counter frame, "And I guess someone in the know was making notes"

Angel watched as Faith made herself comfortable on the countertop. She looked as stunning as ever dressed in her patented denim and leather combination yet there seemed to be an unusual presence about her. There was something different about Faith that he couldn't quite figure out. Then he noticed them.

Her eyes. 

They were beautiful and her gaze touched his very soul.

They captivated him in a way that only one person had ever done before. Darla.

While entranced, he could hear Faith's muted voice in the background continuing to talk about her current situation. He heard her tell of her early release from prison and about returning to the employ of The Council. She talked about how Giles had volunteered to help guide her and had agreed to become her Watcher. She spoke of how she had enrolled back into high school and about how Slayer training was working out.

Angel could hear the words that excitedly escaped Faith's lips but none of the information seemed to register in his feeble brain. He was completely absorbed by the brilliance and laughter of her stormy brown eyes. 

Someone had once said to him that the eyes were like a window into a person's soul and he believed that sentiment to the core. 

Buffy's eyes always portrayed her love, her need and desire for him yet Willow's eyes twinkled with trust and innocence. Cordelia's eyes were honest and true. 

And Faith's? 

Whenever he had looked into them before, he felt saddened by the sea of torment that seemed to plague her. No matter what she said or how she acted, her eyes always betrayed the sorrow, conflict and hurt that she felt deep inside. But now they portrayed something else completely. 

Hope.

They shone with a chance for a new beginning and as far as Angel was concerned that was one of the most incredible sights that he had ever witnessed in the 250 years of his existence and would be imprinted forever in his memory.

"Are you listening to me Dead Boy", he heard Faith prompt impatiently. Broken from his trance, Angel looked in Faith's direction to see an exasperated frown upon her brow.

"Of course I am," he lied

"Well what did I just say?", Faith challenged him

Angel drew an unnecessary breath and hoped against hope that his subconscious memory banks would not let him down. 

"Well you started off by saying how well life was working out for you", Angel began, "Although you could have done without having to take classes in Modern History because it's a drag. On the upside however there's a guy who sits behind you in English class who you find rather droolsome. You also said that Giles was firm but fair and worked you hard and that you bagged five vampires in one night last week which beats your own personal record"

"Er…I guess you were listening then", Faith stuttered amazed that Angel had repeated her stories back to her almost word for word.

"I told you I was", Angel answered with fake indignity thankful that he hadn't been caught out, ttle, "You're doing really well for yourself Faith and that makes me really happy"

"Not too happy I hope", Faith answered with a slight blush in her cheeks, "We wouldn't want you to lose that pesky soul of yours and let the bad boy out to play"

"I don't think there's any danger of that just yet", Angel assured her. He took a couple of paces towards Faith shortening the space between them. Faith adjusted her position on the counter a little nervously at the approaching presence but settled once Angel had taken her hand lightly in his

"You've turned a corner Faith", Angel said gently in a voice so low that it was almost a whisper, "I am so unbelievably proud of you"

Faith could see the sincerity in the face of her vampire friend and couldn't help the small tear that trickled down her face. He looked amazing in his magnificence, his face so strong and proud, his eyes so full of friendship and encouragement, it only made her want to cry more.

Angel removed his hand from Faith's and wiped away the stray tear rolling down her cheek. He said nothing choosing to remain silent rather than saying something that would ruin the mood. He took a couple of paces back allowing Faith some space.

Faith felt grateful for the air. She could not describe how she felt at this moment. For the first time in her life she felt content, almost serene and these happy fuzzy feelings were so new to her that they were overwhelming.

She looked over to where Angel had taken a seat at a table in the corner of the shop. She knew that was an area that Tara, Willow's girlfriend, sometimes read people's futures by using tarot cards. She briefly wondered what the future would hold for her and found that for the first time in a long time she was uncharacteristically optimistic about what life may throw at her.

"So Dead Boy", Faith hollered regaining Angel's attention as well as her own composure, "Now you know what I'm doing here, what are you doing here?"

Angel was lost for words. He really didn't know what to say. He could hardly tell her that he had been transported from another reality by the PTB to 'audition' her for lead role of his soul keeper.

"Er....I'm just passing through", he said lamely hoping that she wouldn't press him any further on it. Fortunately for Angel, Faith seemed content with his answer and let the subject matter drop.

"You know I was just thinking," Faith said as she jumped from the counter and made her way over to where Angel was sat, "You and I have a pretty colourful history" 

Angel gave an ironic laugh

"We certainly do Faith", he agreed, "We certainly do"

"I mean first I tried to decapitate you when I thought you were trying to kill my psychotic phoney Watcher Gwendolyn Post", she began turning the chair to face her before straddling it.

"Yes I definitely remember that", Angel replied sub consciously rubbing the area of his head that had taken so much abuse that night

"And then I tried to take your soul after unsuccessfully trying to seduce you", Faith continued cringing inwardly at that particular memory

"But you didn't succeed, my soul is intact", Angel replied simply. He didn't feel the need to open up any wounds relating to his rejection of Faith in favour of Buffy nor did he need to remind her of her lack of foresight in that incident.

Faith continued her gruesome trip down memory lane finding the detail of her non too pleasant past far too easy to recall

"I terrorised The Scooby Gang including Buffy which in turn caused you distress", she said thinking back to her allegiance with The Mayor, "And then I was back to trying to kill you again whether it be by poisoning or as hired assassin"

"So how is it that you're still talking to me?", Faith finished dramatically throwing her arms in the air

"I guess I just can't resist your witty turn of phrase", Angel replied erupting into a round of raucous laughter. It was the only thing he could think of to do, if not he could go mad thinking of all the things that had passed between them.

At first Faith looked at Angel as if he had gone completely crazy. She had just listed the numerous ways in which she had tried to eliminate him from this world and instead of being angry he found it funny. She didn't think she had ever seen Angel laugh and as she watched him she found his incredible smile infectious. Before long she was joining in the laughter yet she had no idea why.

After a few uncontrollable minutes, Faith and Angel managed to compose themselves long enough to carry on with their catching up conversation. Faith told Angel about how she had coped in prison and how surprised she had been that Wesley had visited her on more than one occasion. She suspected that it was him who had contacted The Council to consider her reinstatement and the parole board about her early release. Faith still felt a little uneasy when she was in Wesley's company as it only reminded her of the pain she had subjected him to whilst torturing him. 

Angel told Faith about his journey to Pylea to rescue Cordelia. Although this wasn't the only thing that had happened to him since he had seen her last, he had deliberately steered his conversation away from his recent troubles with Wolfram and Hart over Darla. Faith had just emerged from her own dark tunnel so she definitely did not need to hear about Angel's trip back into the hidden depths of his own dark abyss.

"Angel?", Faith said after what seemed like hours of endless ramblings, "I know that it's getting pretty late and that you will probably have to be splitting soon but do you mind if I ask you one more question"

At the sound of those words Angel cast his mind back to his recent meeting with Willow. He knew that he wouldn't like the question Faith was about to ask him. He knew that its answer would involve indulging information that he had kept hidden but he also knew that he would give an answer whether he wanted to or not.

"Ask your question Faith", he said trying hard not to let his apprehension echo in his voice

"I know that we've been joking around a little today", Faith said holding Angel's attention in her own, "But I wanted to know how you can forgive me after everything that I've done to you?"

"How could I not Faith?", Angel replied softly expecting that simple phrase to be the answer to all unasked questions.

Faith shook her head slightly, "I…I don't understand", she said as she gazed at Angel with bewilderment

"Choices Faith", Angel explained resignedly, "Life is all about the choices you make and how it effects you and the lives of those people you surround yourself with"

Faith still tilted her head in mild confusion struggling to make any sense of the words of wisdom leaking from Angel's lips. Angel stood from his chair and knelt on the floor in front of her. Tentatively, he gently turned her head so that were eye to eye before placing both of his hands on top of hers.

"When I look at you Faith", he continued his voice strong yet gentle, "It's like I'm staring at my own reflection for the first time in 250 years. Do you know how similar we are? We both come from families that showed no other emotion but disinterest and ,,,,, and we both yearned for something better than what we had. I wanted freedom…"

"And I wanted you….", Faith said interrupting Angel just long enough for him to catch an unnecessary breath.

"As much as I'm flattered to hear that", he whispered, gently stroking her hair, "I don't think it was really me that you wanted"

"No?", Faith asked, the tears threatening to fall again, "What did I want then?" 

"I think that you wanted acceptance Faith", Angel answered trying to be as gentle as he could so as not to upset Faith any more than necessary, "I think that you needed to feel wanted. I think you needed to be in a place where you belonged and just like me I think that you were willing to do anything to get a taste of what you wanted. You tried to find acceptance with Buffy and her gang but I think the more you tried to belong, the more alone you actually felt "

Faith tried to pull herself free of Angel's hold. She didn't want to hear him talk of how she felt Buffy had rejected her or how that led to her weaknesses and her failings. Angel held her firmly refusing to let her go until she had faced the truth.

"Faith, I chose an unrighteous path to be with Darla", he continued, "And it condemned me for the rest of my days. Hatred was my master and it controlled me for 150 years. It gave me the freedom that I craved and I didn't care who I hurt along the way as long as I got what I wanted. I think The Mayor gave you the acceptance that you wanted and the darkness he offered out to you comforted you"

Faith nodded sadly knowing that Angel had always been able to see through her tough girl facade and that what he was saying to her now was the plain, honest truth.

"You see Faith, we are two halves of the same coin. But do want to know where we differ", Angel asked making sure that he looked deep into Faith's eyes when he spoke, "I didn't choose redemption Faith but you did. Regret and remorse were emotions that were forced upon me when the gypsies cursed me and returned my soul. I didn't choose to face up to my mistakes and change my life for the better but you did"

"Angel, how can you say that. You do good every day of your life…", Faith argued

"Only because I got a second chance to do what was right", Angel answered honestly, "When the gypsies first cursed me I did nothing. I travelled the earth for 90 years not making a difference to anyone. I felt sorry for myself and allowed myself to wallow in that self-pity until I met a guy, a really badly dressed demon actually, who showed me what my life could be like. For the first time in over 200 years, I had a choice to make and fortunately this time, I made the right decision. But you Faith, you made that decision long before it was made for you and I admire you for that"

"I did a lot of regrettable things when I was a true vampire Faith and yet people accept me for who I am now and have forgiven me. So tell me Faith, how can I not forgive you?"

Faith could do nothing but pull Angel into a tight embrace. She held on to him close as she cried all the tears that she had waited a lifetime to cry. Angel cradled her in his arms and rocked her until her tears subsided.

"Angel", Faith said, pulling back slightly from Angel but still allowing his tender touch on her arms, " I once asked you that if things between you and Buffy had been different, whether things between you and I would be different….well you're in LA and Buffy's in Sunnydale …things are different"

"Faith", Angel gently chided, "You know I still can't answer that question", 

"I know, I know", Faith admitted a mischievous smile reappearing in her tear stained face, "But you can't blame a girl for trying"

Angel smiled and helped Faith into a standing position. They stood face to face, almost close enough to kiss

"Angel I know you don't believe me when I say this", Faith whispered, her gaze never faltering from his, "But I do want you, always have and I think a part of me always will. YOU saved my soul despite what you may say or think"

Faith gently placed a hand on Angel's chest directly over his heart.

"You've made a difference in my life Angel", she said gently tapping her fingers to the tune of a fake heartbeat, " And who knows maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to work my way into that big heart of yours"

Angel smiled and gently placed a lingering kiss on the top of Faith's head.

"You're already there Faith", he told her, "You're already there"

"Then that's Five by Five", she answered with a smile before disappearing from Angel's view.

To Be Continued…..


End file.
